A Gnawing Feeling

[Miriam Bell]

Miriam bolts from the club in almost a frenzy of her own. Jealousy and anger are burning an icy hole in her chest that's gripping her like a vice. Wanda has moved on. Or is trying to at least. She should be happy, isn't that what she wanted for her? Isn't that why she freed her from the burden of remembering all this? But try as she might, she just can't bring herself to smile at this. The only people who don't abandon her are the ones she's making stay. Will.

As she's running down the street, shoving people who don't get out of her way aside, her mind reaches out to Will's again, searching for some kind of solace, even if it's just by proxy. Will's satisfaction when fulfilling a purpose is... soothing. It's simple in the way that people mistake the lack of turmoil for lack of depth, in that it's not. It's just... uncomplicated. Pure. She focuses on the mental image of a coat or a blanket, something to wrap herself in and provide comfort in the physical world as well. Mostly symbolic, she doesn't really feel warm or cold anymore, just... an absence that's only filled by the already fading sensation of having fed. But, she tells herself, at least she knows what to do to fill that particular void...

[Will Stanton]

The remnants of the silver shield flowed around her, circling her body and wrapping itself around her until it resembled a blood-red greatcoat. This one fit better, and was more fashionable, than the gloves she had attempted to make earlier.

As for Will's mind, it was...a mixture. A little bit confused, thanks to it's lack of sensory input, but still somewhat feeling accomplished and satisfied. As she brushed her hands over the fabric, she got flashes of...curiosity? A couple shivers of contentment?

Miriam? What's going on? I heard dancing and then...shouting... the still somewhat disoriented coat asked her.

[Miriam Bell]

Miriam wraps her arms around herself as she walks. Not going anywhere in particular she just wants to move away from the club.

"Wanda was in the club, dancing. With the werewolf that was hunting her." she responds and the thought carries not just bitterness and hurt but also flashes of what happened in the club. Impressions and thoughts of the whole thing from Miriam's perspective, tinged in her emotions.

[Will Stanton]

Well, shit. Did you stop her?

[Miriam Bell]

"No, because apparently she's mended things with her and she's turned over a new leaf or some such nonsense. She wanted her there and I'm the one she needed to be protected from." If she'd spoken the last part out loud it would have sounded sarcastic and if she was more in control of herself it might have even came across that way in her thoughts, but right now it's very obvious that on some level Miriam agrees with that sentiment.

[Will Stanton]

Why does she need protection from you? You had her best interests at heart, didn't you?

Will seemed more sympathetic to her cause than the last time they had 'spoke' -- whatever wires Miriam had crossed seemed to be having some positive effect, at any rate.

[Miriam Bell]

"I do but... she might have been better of if she'd never met me."

[Will Stanton]

Well, unless you're hiding a propensity for time travel, nothing can be done there. You just have to make the best out of the situation you find yourself in.

[Miriam Bell]

"I tried, but then I ran into her by pure chance anyway. Thank you for having my back though." Not that she really left him much choice in the matter, but it makes her feel better to see it that way.

[Will Stanton]

Can't let anything happen to you, right? Gotta keep you up and running until we can find a cure.

[Miriam Bell]

"Right..." She let's out a heavy sigh. "I'm sure that'll be just a matter of time."

[Will Stanton]

Brave heart, Miriam. Things bend towards things getting better.

[Miriam Bell]

"Wouldn't be the first impossible thing that has happened to me." she tries to let some of Will's optimism spill over.

[Will Stanton]

Come now. Try to think positively. Might help you drag yourself out of the sewer your brain seems to reside in.

[Miriam Bell]

"Oh it's that simple, is it?" Will can hear her immediate response in his head. "I don't remember asking you for advice."

[Will Stanton]

No, that's just a complimentary service I offer, Will joked back.

[Miriam Bell]

"Maybe you shouldn't." she shoots back, the thought carrying more of a command then she might have consciously intended.

[Will Stanton]

Yes'm, Will said, and then fell silent.

[Miriam Bell]

"I just... need you to understand, not spout platitudes."

She's slowed down a little and stops to see where she ended up. In front of her is a low wall and a road the runs along the river. Around them people are moving through the night, often intoxicated, groups of friends, couples hanging off each others arms, here and there she can see people sitting on the low wall together. Miriam's fists clench again as she stares at the scene.

"I need a friend. I need... this. This thing that's so bloody simple that even the drunkest muppets can just stumble into it. I need this to not be so hard. I need somebody who wants me. Who needs me."

[Melpomene]

Like you need him? Like you need his blood to keep going, to survive? The power dynamics in this little relationship seem a little one-sided, darling.

[Miriam Bell]

Miriam couldn't really disagree with that. She'd set herself up to be dependent on Will.

"I just... need it to be more even. I can't always feel like I'm the one who stands to lose something. Someone."

[Melpomene]

Since you can't lower the stakes for yourself, you'll have to raise the stakes for him. Carrot and stick, darling, carrot and stick.

You felt it, didn't you? You reached in to try to grab some defense, and I helped you grasp the reigns. You made him shift. You made him stop criticizing you. If you want it to be more even, you need to take your fair share of control back.

[Miriam Bell]

"I can't just order him to stay. That's... He should want to stay..."

[Melpomene]

What is in it for him?

Carrot and stick, my dear. We have different styles -- I would likely make it so he would be unable, or at the least severely handicapped -- if he left. You aren't me, as you enjoy pointing out, so what you would need to do is make being with you better than the alternative. What does he gain by being around you?

[Miriam Bell]

"Give him something he wants... I thought I'd tried that, but maybe I went about it the wrong way."

A plan, or at least an idea slowly takes shape in Miriam's head. She's still shaken, but having something to focus on goes a long way. Pulling out her cell-phone she calls for a cab.

[Melpomene]

Trial and error, trial and error. I'm sure you'll figure out something. And I'm always here for advice.

[Miriam Bell]

Back in the Hotel Room...

Stepping into the room Miriam shrugs off her jacket and tosses it onto one of the chairs. "Make yourself comfortable. And a little more presentable in the looking-like-a-person sense." she tells it. "I need to freshen up a bit." she adds and disappears into the bathroom to wash her face. She doesn't think she shed any tears throughout all of this, but she's not really certain and it's not like she can check the mirror to see if her eyes are red and puffy. Besides, getting tossed across the dirty dance-floor certainly left her streaked with some grime that she didn't notice in the moment.

[Will Stanton]

Will twisted back into normal shape, sitting on the chair, and blinking as his sight returned to him. He rubbed his eyes at the sudden influx of light, trying to will his restored senses not to overload.

He didn't do much other than that -- Miriam had told him to make himself comfortable, so sitting down was important. And she had told him to look like a person, and he did so. He was also quite comfortable -- meaning he didn't bother to shift into any clothes, his X-uniform still lying on the ground in the bathroom where he had stripped it off earlier that evening. He also remained silent, after Miriam had told him not to offer any advice.

He shifted his weight from one side to another, waiting for Miriam to come out, looking around the room somewhat dubiously.

[Miriam Bell]

Miriam takes her sweet time, deciding to take a shower and let Will sit by himself. When she finally steps out of the bathroom, wrapped up in a soft cotton bathrobe, she stops briefly when she notices Will sitting there naked. She's taken a little aback by what Will considers presentable, but maybe she did word things a bit unfortunately.

"You should make yourself some clothes. Or at least turn into a woman. In fact, why don't you do both?" she says as she pulls up another chair. They're big, comfortable seats and she moves it across from Will before sitting down and eyeing him for a moment as she waits for him to shift. "And you can talk. I was... angry and took it out on you."

[Will Stanton]

Will does in fact, do both, and Miriam would be amused to see that she picked something dark, black and gothic -- far from Will's normal style, but perhaps a side effect of Miriam wandering through her head.

"You've got a lot to be angry about", she said, evenly. "You've been dealt a bad hand, and no one can blame you for not handling it with the utmost grace."

[Miriam Bell]

"Thank you." she says as she eyes Will's choice of clothing. "So I'm sure you won't mind if I make this whole arrangement a little more tolerable, yes?"

[Will Stanton]

"What, you have a second, fancier hotel room to check into? Are you even paying for this one, or is that..." she trailed off, tapping the side of her head in the universal sign for 'mind juju'.

[Miriam Bell]

"I needed somewhere to stay, didn't I?" she says, as if that excuses going for a room this fancy. "But no, that's not what I'm talking about. I mean..." she taps her temple, mimicking Will's gesture.

[Will Stanton]

"...What are you suggesting, Miriam?" Will frowned at her, crossing her arms and her legs in a subconscious defensive posture.

[Miriam Bell]

"You'll see. Don't worry." she says as her mind makes contact with Will's. Her plan is not too different from the first thing she'd tried, but now she realizes that she was trying to replace a core concept to facilitate emotions, when she should have gone about it the other way around. Let the former be molded by the later. She dives straight for the switchboard room again.

[Narrator]

It was easier to find it this time -- she had been there before, and the strange logic of Will's head was beginning to make sense, worryingly. Everything seemed to be as she left it, with plenty of people milling around, examining her new additions.

[Miriam Bell]

Instead of any of her additions Miriam heads to the main switchboard in the middle. She has a rough idea of how it works now and as the 'experimental' switchboard and crafting table showed, she can change and add things. Holding her hands out in front of herself she focuses and slowly black mist creeps from her sleeves, gathering in her palms and assembling into some kind of adapter. Receptacle on one end, plug on the other and in the middle a complicated assembly of shimmering conduits that flows together and finally is encased in the adapter's casing. On it's side is a small window display and a scroll-wheel. As Miriam slowly spins it words take shape in the display.

> Miriam's Approval

She thinks for a moment, then spins it again, the words blurring and reassembling.

> Miriam's Cherishment

With that she flies up to the big switchboard and hunts down where all the 'Happiness' cables converge. She pulls the whole throng of them out and instead stuffs them into her new adapter, which in turns gets plugged back into the board. A simple condition inserted into the existing infrastructure.

[Narrator]

It wasn't pretty, and it didn't exactly look like it belonged there, but making the connections? Surprisingly easy. All of Will's happiness -- every connection, every plug -- ran through a strong need for Miriam to "cherish" him. An interesting choice of words, but it would, Miriam hoped, be enough of a 'carrot' to have Will want to stick around.

With a whir, a click and a hum, the adapter went online. While other circuits still went straight to the main board, all the happiness ones were dormant, waiting for the adapter to be triggered. Trap baited.

[Miriam Bell]

And with that Miriam withdraws from Will's head. She figures the full effect will probably take a while until cause and effect get connected in Will's mind and steer her towards things, but Will seems to respond and adapt fast to most things, so who knows.

She opens her eyes and just looks at her for a moment. Will had seemed at least vaguely concerned when she'd kind of interrupted the conversation and she's curious to see if that persisted.

[Will Stanton]

Will still did look concerned, staring at Miriam intently. "Are you feeling alright? You went quiet there. Is it time for another feeding?"