Stanton's Bakery and Confectionery, Incorporated

[Narrator]

Tosh and Bruce walked through the pleasant little town, on their way to the factory proper. Tosh might be able to ignore and avoid the merchants pressing their street food; Bruce maybe not, and might have a kebab or five by the time they finally walked up to the factory proper.


To say the building was bustling would be a massive understatement. Truck after truck with raw materials kept pulling up the loading docks -- vanilla beans, cacao seeds, fresh fruit, milk, eggs -- you name it, it was there. Wills of all shapes and sizes, as well as plenty of other, familiar (and unfamilar) faces swarmed over one another in what looked like unorganized chaos, as they brought everything inside. It seemed to work for them, however -- while neither the boy nor the shark could see an obvious pattern, everything was being brought inside quite nicely.

They could get a glimpse into the factory itself from the loading docks, or they could go around to the front entrance and try to enter that way. Or they could just hang around outside begging for free samples, which is always a possibility.

[Toshiro Narumi]

"Okay big guy," Tosh said to his toothy companion, "I'll go around front, you play working stiff and try to look around inside."

"Sndsh gud Bro," Bruce answered through a mouthful of sample sweets.

"And would you please stop eating."

Bruce swallowed. "No promises."

Tosh sighed and went about his task. Bruce grabbed a crate and tried to blend in with the varied mental constructs.

[Narrator]

TOSH

The front of the factory had a big, shiny gate in front of it, with a big "W" in a circle and everything -- very fancy, and very much a tourist attraction sort of thing. On either side of the gate, two Wills dressed up vaguely like Swiss Guards stood, with pikes that were clearly more ceremonial than threatening. As Tosh approached, the guard on the left tipped his helmet at him.

"G'day, sah!" he barked out.

BRUCE
"Woah woah woah woah!" one of the larger workers said, as Bruce tried to grab a crate. "Employees only, my man. Be careful what you're doing with that!"

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

"Hey there," he smiled, "What's it take to get a tour?"

BRUCE

"It's.. uhh... my first day?" Bruce attempted.

[Narrator]

TOSH

"A tour? A tour of the factory?" the first guard asked, confused, scratching his head.

"Do you have a ticket?" the second guard asked. "They're very hard to come by, you know."


BRUCE
"A new guy? Why didn't you say so!" the biggun said, slapping Bruce (hard) across the back. "What were you hired for? What division? What department?"

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

"Why right here."'

Tosh brought his nerd powers to bear and imagined he had The Doctor's psychic paper to flash at the guard.

BRUCE

"They hired me to work the loading dock."

[Narrator]

TOSH

The guard peered at the piece of paper.

Now, Tosh had no mental powers himself here, as he was not a telepath, but in his defense, Will was very stupid.

"Right! Looks like you're signed up for the 2:30, so you should be good to go.

You've been told the rules and signed the waiver of responsibilities?"


BRUCE
"Well, let's get you inside and uniformed up. Otherwise, they might take you for a spy!" the big guy said, slapping Bruce's back again. That was getting annoying.

"What's yer name, sport?"

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

"Of course. But could you remind me of the rules?"

BRUCE

"Bruce. Bruce Sharkman. Totally not a spy."

[Narrator]

TOSH

"Of course, sir," the guard said. "Stanton's Bakery and Confectionery offers you a tour of the most fantastic and astounding factory you have ever seen, but it is a working factory. Stay with the group and do not touch or alter any of the machinery. SBC takes no responsibility for personal injury or altered compositions caused by straying from the group. Do not remove any of the items or samples from the premesis; if we detect any degree of industrial espionage you will be treated appropriately.

Otherwise, enjoy your tour, sir."


BRUCE
"Sharkman, is it?" he said, prouncing the name like sharkmin and not SHARK-MAN. "Well, welcome aboard!"

The two walked in through the doors, into the sorting floor of the factory proper.

Bruce was not the technical-minded one of the Tosh Trio, but even he would have to be impressed the sheer level of automation and mechanization that the factory was undergoing. Automated cranes were coming in from all different angles, reaching down and grabbing all the crates that the workers brought in and zipping them at highway speeds deep into the factory proper. They narrowly missed colliding with one another, and how the cranes could identify which boxes needed to go where was, at the moment, beyond Bruce's comprehension. There must be a method to the madness, though madness did seem to be the keyword of the day.

Bruce's guide walked a very particular path through the madness, leading Bruce towards a door. "You're going to love working here; the benefits are outstanding."

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

"Thanks," he answered before heading inside.

BRUCE

"Benefits? Like dental insurance? Or free snacks?" he said with a grin.

[Narrator]

TOSH
The vast marble-covered foyer of the room was filled with a tour group -- specifically no Wills in this group, but a lot of stereotypical touristy-looking people in bright Hawaiian shirts with cameras and things of that nature, randomly taking photos of columns and the front desk and other, vaguely uninteresting bits of paraphenelia. It would be fairly easy for Tosh to blend in with the crowd without drawing too much suspicion to himself.

A Will in what could best be described as a '50s flight attendent outfit came out of the large set of double doors.

"Right! Hello, greetings and welcome to the Stanton Bakery and Confectionery, the place where dreams come true. I'm Willow and I'll be your guide through this amazing and wonderful place. You'll come out of here knowing all about our dream factory, our memory candies; our many-flavored opinions room, and everything in between. This is the heart and soul of the whole Stanton operation; everything that makes this place a truly wonderful and fantastic place to live comes right from our factory doors. On this tour, you'll learn all about how everything works.

Well, almost everything. Trade secrets, you know?" she giggled, and the rest of the tour group laughed along with her.

"Do we have any questions before we take off?"

BRUCE

"Oh, the snacks are to die for, absolutely," Bruce's guide confirmed, as they walked into a busy and crowded locker room. "Try not to eat them off the line anywhere, but the finished products? Absolutely amazing."

From a rack alongside the wall, he handed Bruce a uniform which, somehow, was shark-shaped. "Just keep your fins up, and you'll find a wonderful home here. Glad to be working with you!"

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

Tosh raised a hand. "What sections were closed down when the company split up?"

BRUCE

Bruce put on the uniform, which in mind-land was instantaneous.

"So looking forward to working here."

[Narrator]

TOSH

"That is a wonderful question, and a common misconception, a very common misconception, one we're very glad to help clear up.

When the Great Split happened, it was very traumatic for all of us, as we know," she continued, as the crowd nodded. "But we're survivors here, and we vowed to continue, and to thrive. We didn't close anything down, despite the loss of half of our potential market. We ramped things up into overdrive, employing dozens of more imagineers and creative workers, coming up with new dreams and new forms by the truckload. We are stronger than ever, creating more fantasies and ideas than ever before. Some of our most popular flavors and concepts have come out since the split. We have been able to focus on our core markets -- enjoying the love of shifting, of using and being used. Specificity makes us stronger."

Applause!


BRUCE
"Then get out there, Sharkman! These crates won't bring themselves inside!"

The man waved, as he headed out back to the shop floor. Bruce now blended it -- as much as a giant shark person could do, at least, but here, he was far from the weirdest looking fellow.

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

"What about discontinued products?"

BRUCE

Bruce tried to find his way back to the loading dock, dodging zipping cranes all the way. However, he quickly became lost.

"Which way was it again?" he sighed, unknowingly standing in the path of a crane.

[Narrator]

TOSH

"Oh, certainly, there are things that are no longer in demand. Many of the more violent and bloody fantasies aren't really in vogue around here anymore. Tastes change from time to time, too. We store all those old recipes away, for historical preservation, but we're focused on the new and exciting here today."


BRUCE

A thin green laser briefly scanned over Tosh as he stood there. There was a long, lingering pause, as the crane checked it's database of ingredients, looking for a match. Finally, with a ding, the crane shot down and locked itself around Bruce's leg, yanking him up into the air and whizzing towards a thin opening in the wall ahead!

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

Now that Tosh knew something to look for, he politely stopped asking questions.

BRUCE

Bruce yelped and fruitlessly tried to get ahold of the crane arm. He was just not flexible enough.

[Narrator]

TOSH
"Right, then! On with the tour!"

The first few stops on the tour were -- well, perhaps "nothing special" wasn't quite right for a mechanically-inclined person like Tosh. The engineering required to make this place work was baffling, with conveyor belts, cranes, and automated machines of all kinds working together in perfect harmony. It was cartoonish, sure, but it was still mechanical, and it almost -- almost, mind you -- made sense. Yes, friction and other forces would likely cause a place like this to need hundreds of hours of maintenance, but when it was working smoothly, it was quite the site to see, even if 'all' it was doing was baking food.

The next few rooms, however, things went from the literal to the more figurative.

"Alright, keep up, keep up, plenty to do and plenty to see.

On your left, you'll see our Dream Factory. Here's where we bubble only the finest ideas and ingredients up from the most mysterious parts of the subconscious, shaping them and molding them into the hopes and dreams of the entire society. As a fun fact, many of you might know that, back in the olden days, this was all organic -- plants growing and being picked. We still use and grow a wide variety of the finest natural ingredients to make these dreams and fantasies, but now we also use state-of-the-art science and ingredients to bring them to life. Come inside, where our scienticians will be happy to give you free samples of some of the latest and greatest concepts we're workshopping, fresh out of the ovens."

The Dream Factory was filled with people in labcoats and goggles -- including, Tosh might be pleased to see, a few versions of himself. Some of them were tending to Seussian plants, filled with glowing orbs of some kind. Others were carefully cracking them open and feeding them through tubes and pipettes, boiling them over bunson burners, or adding carefully selected additives, brought to them by cranes from the back wall. It all looked very technical.

The tour group would walk in through the door as the guide ushered them through, but Tosh would ALSO see, out of the corner of his eye, another cracked door. This one read "EMPLOYEES ONLY: Memory storage, Opinion Sorting, Administration".

Tosh could either stick with the tour, or go off on his own.

BRUCE
Bruce was unable to wriggle himself free and would slam into---and through-- the wall.

It didn't hurt nearly as much as it 'should', as this place worked on cartoon physics. Thus, rather than a concussion, Bruce simply left a Bruce-shaped hole in the wall as he the crane picked up speed.

Bruce found himself whizzing through the factory, over vats of bubbling chocolate, past taffy being stretched and folded and restretched, dough being pounded and molded by giant gloved hand-shaped machines, vast ovens radiating heat -- it all smelled delicious, but it would probably be safer to be on the other side of the glass, where workers controlled the levers and machines, rather than being shunted up, down and all around through the factory itself.

He was beginning to slow down, however, as the crane came close to bringing him to his (hopefully not) final destination.

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

Tosh stealthily detached himself from the group and hurriedly slipped through the cracked door.

BRUCE

"Hey! Help! I'm not an ingredient!" Bruce called out.

[Narrator]

TOSH
Tosh was able to slip away from the group, apparently without being seen. This was definitely off the tour path, though, and whatever repercussions were now on him; the factory waived all repercussions to what would happen to him from this point on.

While the tour area had been very open and brightly colored, as it had obviously been intended for public viewing, this was far more plain and efficient looking; lots of gunmetal grey and office beige carpeting, long hallways and offices. Several people were walking around with clipboards and ID badges; neither of which Tosh currently had. None had noticed him sneak in, though, so he was safe for the moment.

There were a lot of computer terminals and things in the various offices here; this all looked much more up his alley than a crazy baking room. A sign with an arrow pointing left referred to various departments having to do with memory allocation, recall and storage; apparently, this was the part of the factory that controlled what Will remembered, how important those memories were, what feelings they were connected to, and the like. A sign with an arrow pointing to the right referred to more opinion-based matters; it was the part of the factory that controlled how Will felt about various things. Both sides had plenty of offices with terminals in them; it was conceivable Tosh could slip into either of them and check things out.

Down the hall were some elevators, looking an awful lot like Star Trek turboshafts but clearly NOT Star Trek turboshafts because that would be copyright infringement. That could take him to other parts of the backroom, if he had something particular in mind he wanted to gain access to. The longer he wandered around, though, the more likely someone would notice he wasn't supposed to be here, unless he could obtain a disguise.


BRUCE
In the bakery, no one could hear you scream.

Bruce was unceremonelous dropped from a good twenty feet in the air, falling down, down into a deep mixing bowl, with very slick sides. His fall was cushioned by a big pile of flour, which created a large white *floomf* as powder flew up in every which direction. Before he could get his bearings, another funnel opened up and dumped several gallons of melted butter atop the poor sharkman.

OSHA would have a thing or two to say about all this.

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

Tosh tried to find a construct of himself to "borrow" a badge from.

BRUCE

Bruce, not being able to breathe under-butter, spluttered. He scrambled to try and claw his way up the side of the bowl before he became a shark cookie.

[Narrator]

TOSH

It didn't take too long to find a version of himself standing next to a water cooler, carefully looking over a clipboard and drinking some coffee. Could he be sneaky enough to, ahem, acquire the badge?

BRUCE

A giant white hand on a stick came and slapped into Bruce, knocking him back down into the buttery mixture, giving him a good shove as he did so.

He may or may not notice that, but his stomach ended up taking a second to pop back out after being shoved in, all Willsbury Doughboy like; the effects of spending so much time in Will's head?

The philosophical implications of that might be interrupted by two giant eggs being cracked over his head.

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

Tosh didn't think he could lift the badge outright, so he tried the next best idea; he bumped into the Tosh-oid at an angle designed to spill hot bean juice over the other's lab coat.

BRUCE

Bruce spluttered again and wiped egg off his face.

"Not cool dude!" he bellowed.

Next time some apparatus came down, he planned to grab on for dear life.

[Narrator]

TOSH

"Woah, man," 'Tosh' said as Tosh bumped into him. "Dude, watch where you're going!"

He stood there, shaking his arms, at his now coffee-stained lab coat. Lab coats were supposed to be white! This wasn't white at all! No, not good. Not even a little good.

BRUCE

He would have a chance, if he so took it, as a nozzle came down, pointed ominously directly over him...

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

"Oh God! I'm so sorry!" he said. He started taking off his coat. "Here. You can have mine."

BRUCE

Bruce leaped up and grabbed the nozzle.

[Narrator]

TOSH

"Ah, cool; thanks bro," "Tosh" said -- did Will think he talked like that? Way too Brucey, really. "You're a lifesaver."

'Tosh' took off his own coat and lay it down, badge and all, as he put on Tosh's coat.


BRUCE

Bruce's leap was good. The nozzle was slick, and he was covered in an eggy, floury mixture, but Bruce was strong like shark, and manged to grab on to it.

The impact of him slamming into the nozzle was enough to get it swinging back and forth, which was fortunate. A moment later, warm chocolate started pouring out of it, blasting Bruce in the face -- sweeter and tastier than getting slammed with an egg, for sure, though perhaps not super-high on the list of Bruce's things to do. The force was enough to knock him off of the nozzle, but because it was swinging back and forth, Bruce missed the bowl and landed on the factory floor with a bit of a *thump* -- although not one that hurt; at least, not as much as it *should* have done.

The chocolate sprayed wildly as the nozzle swung, slicking the floor and generally causing a massive mess, not only at this mixing bowl but at a number of other stations in this immediate area. Lights turned red and flashing, and a klaxon started firing, with more mechanical cranes, nozzles, paddles and hands stopping what they were doing and zooming over towards where Bruce was!

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

"I'll take your coat to Laundry for you. It's the least I can do," he said as he took up the coat.

BRUCE

Not wanting to find out how the idea of electricity would affect Will's mind, Bruce awkwardly scrambled onto his slippery feet and ran.

And immediately slipped back down.

[Narrator]

TOSH

"Thanks, man, appreciate it. These clipboards won't check themselves!"

That was...almost too easy, but Tosh now had a badge! It identified him as, well, "Tosh", so no need to remember a different name. That was convenient, though it raised questions as to how many people here were named 'Tosh'. He was apparently a Chief Pollster of the Opinions Department, which sounded pretty fancy, at least! Not bad, Tosh. Not bad.


BRUCE
Bruce landed on the ground with a thump -- again, not hurting as much as maybe it should to faceplant onto a concrete floor. Will's brain worked on cartoon rules, it seemed!

The various automated pieces of equipment chased after him, a large pair of clamps snapping ominously over him as it looked to grab onto his leg; a second one reaching for his neck.

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

Tosh headed away, putting on the badge once out of sight and stuffing the soiled lab coat into the first garbage can he saw. Kind of a dick move really.

He headed to Memory Storage.

BRUCE

Bruce rolled over and bit the clamp first.

[Narrator]

TOSH

Tosh could walk down the corridors now without attracting too much attention -- he had a badge and everything! Thus, no one questioned him too sharply when he walked his way into the memory storage division.

This looked a little more familiar to him -- computers and consoles and desks and things. He knew computers. The odd part were the series of pneumatic tubes all along one wall, with two tubes (one in, one out?) leading to each desk.

Tosh could take an empty seat, which conveniently already seemed logged in, with a prompt open, ready for the workday.


BRUCE
The second Bruce opened his mouth it was plugged by a nozzle, which started blasting some kind of Twinkie-esque cream down his throat at extraordinarily high pressure.

The nozzle was not shark-proof however, and Bruce's jaws were able to snap off the end of it after a couple seconds, sending cream flying all over the place, as if things weren't chaotic enough already. A second set of red lights started blinking, and a variety of cleaning equipment starting shooting out of the walls towards the messy catastrophe that was Bruce.

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

Tosh took a seat and began a tedious search for positive memories of a unified Will.

BRUCE

He spat out the nozzle and desperately tried to pry loose the clamp around his neck.

[Narrator]

TOSH

It wasn't as boring and tedious as he might think! What Will lacked in logical industrial design, he apparently made up for with a user-friendly interface. Memories were sorted and tagged and cross-referenced and cross-colated, and Tosh could pretty quickly bring up any sort of memories he wanted to find with a quick Google-like search. He could also edit the metadata around each memory, if he so chose -- like, a memory could be tagged as happy or sad, or as important or important, or anything in between. The tagging system was certainly ideosyncratic; a lot of comments and notes written on each memory, with long descriptions and notes that seemed to alter how Will took each memory, as it were. Any memory he pulled up could be watched right there on the monitor, and there was a little green button marked "Print" next to each one.

Searching for "positive" memories would produce thousands and thousands of results. If he was looking for something specific, his query would have to be a little more specific.

BRUCE
Bruce's brute force was able to pry the clamp from his neck, giving him a second with which to run, if he so chose. He could try to hide in or around one of the other many baking and cooking machines; he could try to dart into the wall where the cleaning robots had come out; he could turn and fight, he could try grabbing one of the many automatic devices and hanging on for dear life, he could fashion some kind of gummy lasso from nearby confectioneries -- tons of possibilities, but he had to make a decisive choice quickly.

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

Tosh searched for memories where Will was happy or proud of being bold.

BRUCE

Bruce scrambled to his feet and charged for the opening in the wall, violently bashing aside anything unfortunate enough to be in his way.

[Narrator]

TOSH

There were plenty of them, though most of them appeared to predate him coming into this universe. Over here, he was either too unconscious, too inanimate, too pissy, or too split to really enjoy much action, but back home, he was an X-Man, and apparently something of a minor celebrity. Tosh could watch plenty of memories of him working the press and getting pictures taken, among and in between the various ass-kickings and whatnot. Dude could play to the cameras.

Bold was still fairly generic, mind you, and some of the "bold" moves that he was "proud" of weren't quite so punchy-kicky. Asking Sara out for the first time. Getting up the nerve to ask Nailah to teach him majicks. Some things that would likely make Tosh never look at shifters quite the same way twice. He'd had a rich and varied life, after all.

BRUCE
Bruce bowled over one of the vacuums, dodged around a couple of the pipes and smashed through a crane on his way to the wall.

It wasn't an easy fit for a large sharkman, but Tosh could squeeze himself in and behind the wall, out of the range of all the horrid machinery. Well, all the horrid baking machinery, at least; there were a lot of things all carefully tessalated in here - lots of polishers and scrubbers and repairbots and things of that nature. Everything you might need to keep a factory running. There was also some room behind them if he wanted to try to push through; it wasn't machines from wall-to-wall.

Rumbling could be heard throughout here as motors and pistons churned.

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

Since they were old memories, Tosh felt Will could use a reminder. So he tried sending them to recall. If it had to be done manually, then he'd print them out. Either way, he next searched for times when Will's more dangerous impulses were tempered by compassion to better results.

BRUCE

Bruce waded through the cleaning bots on his way to the room, getting nicely clean and sparkly in the process.

[Narrator]

TOSH

Tosh hit the "print" button, which sent the pneumatic tubes into motion. As they chugged, he began separating and sorting out more and more positive memories, creating a bit of a slideshow/snapshot thing of Will's better impulses. He was basically playing Jiminy Cricket, in other words, but someone had to do it!

Two six-packs of delicately and intricately designed bonbons came up through the tubes, coming to rest on his purloined desk. ... OK?

BRUCE

A buffed and polished Bruce emerged from the back of the machinery. He was even a little bit shiny. In the real world, walking though cleaning machines would probably leave one bruised and battered. Here, there was nothing quite like that new shark scent.

He may stick away from chocolate for a little while afterwards, but who knew?

He found himself in some sort of service corridor -- clean, but smelling strongly of solvents and cleaning products. Most importantly, it appeared empty. No one there to ask him what he was doing, and no damn automated machines to turn him into some sort of brownie. Now, what to do and where to go...

[Toshiro Narumi]

TOSH

"It prints... bonbons?" Tosh said, blinking. "Of course it does."

He crossed his fingers and put the compassion memory snacks into his coat, which had reappeared at some point because mindscapes are weird. "I hope this works."

BRUCE

Bruce flipped a mental coin and headed left.

[Narrator]

TOSH
Tosh now had a coatful of snacks added to his inventory. Success!

First, Tosh took the bold snacks, and scribbled an address along the side of the box. They had to go up to active recall, right? Hopefully, that would send them up to WonkaWill, or whoever the hell he was around here. With a *phoomp*, the output tube sent them rocketing up and out of sight. Fingers crossed!

Then it was the compassion snacks turn. After a moment's thought, Tosh just wrote "Ennio" on the side of the box. He knew the factory and everything wasn't connected to the other side, but maybe, just maybe, he could send this to his other self to help out. That would be really convenient, wouldn't it?


BRUCE
Left it was, which reached a ladder he could climb up, which he would in the next post for reasons that had nothing to do with a narrator trying to get multiple things aligned at the same time.

[Toshiro Narumi]

Tosh took his leave and began to sneak back out.

[Narrator]

There was a massive commotion in the hallway as he snuck back out, which could provide a bit of a distraction for him.

The source of the distraction was clear, however -- Sam and a Will in a funky X-Man uniform were pushing their way through crowds of workers, trying to stop them from going forward. They weren't authorized, you know.