Everywhere the Light Touches

[Narrator]

Ennio crashed through the treetops (tree-bottoms?) as he was flung into the air into the woods.

"Woods" was the right description -- it wasn't a jungle; much more North American and coastal, with redwoods and things of that nature. That was probably good; the humidity would be a nightmare otherwise.

He landed (gravity! Aaaaah!) in a small clearing, scattering some of the native animals as he landed. They were -- well, they were green, but that might not have been too surprising considering the guy who's head he was inside. He had never taken Will for a furry before, but his head was apparently teeming with green, fuzzy game. Green birds chittered in the trees above, too -- this was very much a live forest, even if the trees were in a variety of different colors not normally found in nature.


Several of the trees around had slashes carved into them -- markings or blazes of some kind. Some kind of guide, telling travellers where to go? Markings indicating territorial borders? Some jerk with a knife defacing trees?

The faint sounds of drumming could be heard from the west, away from the town proper.

[Toshiro Narumi]

Ennio re-absorbed the idea of water that he used to cushion his landing and carefully examined his surroundings as if there were hidden banditos. His little fuzzy ears twitched in the direction of the drumming.

"Curiouser and curiouser," he said before following the sound.

[Narrator]

Some of the animals in the forest scattered as Ennio made his way towards the drumming. It was not a path, per se -- not like a well-marked trail or anything, but the blazes and slashes along the trees made it clear that he was at least, in theory, headed in a direction people had come in before.

The drumming led him to the edge of a clearing, where a squad of green-haired folk sat in a circle around a fairly large bonfire. They weren't all Wills, mind you -- they were versions of a number of people on campus, just with green hair signifying them as part of this, what, tribe? Their faces and chests were painted with vaguely Celtic designs -- often three circles or three spirals, or three triangles, or some combination thereof. It wasn't too far from the design The Boy had painted on himself during the big Naming Rights brawl.

Across a spit on the bonfire was a couple of the green animals Ennio had seen when he first landed in the forest. A couple pelts were hung out to dry, as well, and the small scraps of clothing the people wore seemed to be made of the same leather. Honestly, it wasn't all that different from Finn McCool's setting that Tosh had come across so long ago.

Across the fire from Ennio's position was a Will, the only one of the group who earned a chair, and thus several feet higher than the rest of the group. His hair was shaved into a side fade, and he had a scar running down one eye, but it was The Boy, alright. His hands were steepled together as he watched the rest of the people, intently -- this was his realm, after all.

If only he had been wearing pants.

[Toshiro Narumi]

"I'd say ya left the barn door open, but ya ain't even got a barn," Ennio quipped.

[Null]

The drumming stopped, and all eyes went on the newcomer.

"Who are you, and how did you enter these woods," Will demanded, standing up and glaring at the ferret.

[Toshiro Narumi]

"Tosh sent me via shark-powered Fastball Special ta try n' talk you two cranky ol' fellers back together."

[Null]

"These woods are mine, and mine alone. You trespass here, despite the warnings and the signs. You would invade my home, come to talk to me about reconciliation.

And what are you, then? A mewling weasel, who thinks he's a lion. You make me laugh, boy."

[Toshiro Narumi]

"Oh quit yer bellyachin' ya naked ape. I ain't seen no blasted signs and Finn McCool you ain't. This may be yer Morrigan worshippin' side but guess what. She's on my side."

[Null]

"You serve the Morrigan?" Will said, his eyes narrowing.

[Toshiro Narumi]

"In so much as I have a fightin' spirit. Mostly we have a common interest in putting Humpty Dumpty back together again."

[Null]

"Humpty Dumpty, is it? So, would you be the King's men, or the king's horse? Or perhaps just the king's horse's ass?"

[Toshiro Narumi]

"The king's engineer," he smirked, "Only a dang fool sends soldiers to fix what's broken."

He drew a hot glue gun and twirled it.

[Null]

"I don't think we've had roast engineer for quite some time, have we?" the Will said, looking around to his companions, who were rising from their spots around the fire.

[Toshiro Narumi]

"You and what fire?" he grinned, blasting the fire with water and immediately sweeping the area with a second torrential spray.

[Null]

His blast sent several of the other people running away, but not Will.

He raised his hand, and the fire roared back to life.

"I am no pushover, ferret. And I do not suffer fools lightly.

I would start running. In a minute, we will be after you. I will skin you alive and wear your pelt as a trophy, so all will know what happens to fools who rush in."

[Toshiro Narumi]

Belatedly realizing that a physical confrontation in a mindscape was a foolish idea, Ennio quickly decided to be more... Will-ish.

In a startlingly good Elvis impersonation, he sang:

"Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too"

[Null]

Will paused, mid threats.

"What...are you doing?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

[Toshiro Narumi]

"Choosin' the wrong song," he said before trying again.

"Here come old flat top
He come groovin' up slowly
He got joo joo eyeballs
He one holy roller
He got hair down to his knee
Got to be a joker
He just do what he please"

[Null]

"Are you...coming on to me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

[Toshiro Narumi]

"Come on Gumby, everybody knows you love The Beatles," he urged.

"He wear no shoeshine
He got toe jam football
He got monkey finger
He shoot Coca-Cola
He say I know you, you know me
One thing I can tell you is
You got to be free"

He looked to Will expectantly.

[Null]

"I AM free, now that that Coca-Cola spewing excuse for a snotrag is seperate from me."

Will counter-sang!

"I've got something to say that might 'cause you pain
If I catch you talking to that boy again
I'm gonna let you down
And leave you flat
Because I told you before, oh
You can't do that"

[Toshiro Narumi]

"Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame"

Bono he wasn't.

[Null]

"We are never, ever, ever getting back together
We are never, ever, ever getting back together
You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me
But we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together!"

[Toshiro Narumi]

"Do you really think I care
What you eat or what you wear
Won't you join together with the band
There's a million ways to laugh
Ev'ry one's a path
Come on and join together with the band"

[Null]

"Been down one time
Been down two times
I'm never going back again!"

[Toshiro Narumi]

"My spirit gets so downhearted sometimes
So where are the strong
And who are the trusted?
And where is the harmony?

Sweet harmony.
'Cause each time I feel it slippin' away, just makes me want to cry.
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding? Ohhhh
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding?"

[Null]

"Don't play that song; that 'Achy Breaky' song
I think it's driving me insane.
Oh, please don't play that song; that irritating song
I'd rather have a pitchfork in my brain"

[Toshiro Narumi]

"Oh that's enough, yer drivin' us insane
Quit yer bellyachin' noise
If you keep on this course, you'll drive yer friends away
Get in the damn robot Shinji"

[Null]

"ENOUGH!" Will finally shouted. "If you keep this up, you'll drive us insane with your prattling. You wouldn't know a tune if it slammed you upside the head."

"You have amused me, for a time. Thus, I shall give you the chance to leave now with your hide intact."

[Toshiro Narumi]

"I tried to win this peaceful-like, but it looks like it's up to Sammy to screw yer head on straight."

[Null]

"I don't see a Samantha here, do you?"

[Toshiro Narumi]

"I couldn't be here if she wasn't in your head too, now could I?"

[Null]

"Oh, I'm sure she's here. But she's not...here."

The rest of the...tribe?...has come around, and were now circling Ennio.

"She's powerful, but in here, even she has to obey our rules. And she can only be in so many places at once."

[Toshiro Narumi]

"Yanno... I don't think yer really gonna attack a friend," he said.

[Null]

"You don't know me very well at all, do you?"

With that, several of the tribespeople lunged at Ennio, knives drawn, screaming out war whoops as they went!

[Toshiro Narumi]

"This is why yer the bad Will!" he exclaimed, rocketing towards Will on a jet of mind-water in an attempt to latch on.

[Null]

"This is why I'm the surviving Will," he said, bringing down his elbow hard on Ennio as he passed by.

He wasn't playing for fun here! That elbow was meant to HURT; it was a good thing Ennio's water-blast had taken him out of range for any sort of followup.

[Toshiro Narumi]

Ennio's painfully altered trajectory sent him into the ground to carve a furrow with his face. He pulled his face out of the dirt, spitting teeth like a cartoon.

"Got-dang it! Yer both survivin'!"

[Null]

"And if you want to be surviving, you'll take off.

I'll make you a deal. I'll give you a five minute head start. If you can survive two hours in our woods, we'll come and listen to your Sam. Otherwise, tonight we feast."

[Toshiro Narumi]

"And here I thought you were gonna challenge me," he grinned, "Yer on Gumby."

With that, he scampered into the undergrowth.