Compromising Positions

[Will Stanton]

"Deal," the boy said, calling Robin's bluff.


"This is getting us nowhere," the X-Man complained. "Plus, there's a law against that."

"Shove it up your ass, cop."

[Robin Stanton]

"It's not a dare, idiot! The point is people'd get upset!"

[Will Stanton]

"Fuck 'em. If people get upset with you, they're not worth your time."


"Sam's right. You are a hypocrite."

"I give up! I give up! We'll reform and do it your way, just stop fighting!"

[Robin Stanton]

"A-ha!" Robin exclaims with one focused 'punch' of a chair-leg to Will's chest.

"So you do what you want despite what people think. Remind you of somebody?" the chair dramatically points at WonkaWill.

[Will Stanton]

"Yes, except what he wants is disgusting and alienates people and I want no part of it. That's kind of the point here, candy-floss-for-brains."

[Samantha McManus]

"Fighting and avoiding trousers are pretty off-putting in polite society too."

"And I say that as someone who likes fighting and often has a cavalier attitude towards trousers."

[Will Stanton]

"And my point is, I would rather live in your world, and you would rather live in mine. You wouldn't want to live in his.

Fine, we're not normal. But we're the right kind of abnormal."

[Will Stanton]

"I get it, OK? I give in. Uncle.

Sam's right. We can't stay separated. It's causing too much damage in here; it's frustrating everyone out there. Mel's a real threat. We need to combine, and the only way that's happening is if I give in. I'll just be quiet in the corner, while the other two drive."

[Samantha McManus]

"If we played it that way, the shame well would be overflowing again by next week."

"The three of you used to be coequal."

[Will Stanton]

"Coequal is the most fair way to do things," the X-Man agreed. "But not always the simplest. There are, of course, times when one of the three of us takes the lead, be it by necessity or by force. Sometimes this is natural and healthy, and other times it's due to lack of other outlets.

I believe it is least harmful when I am the one in the driver's seat. No one gets punched, and no one gets lunched. But, as I think we've seen, boarding up either of the others is not a long-term solution to their....proclivities."

[Robin Stanton]

"There's no... driver's seat. It's a three-man job. What you need is one of those Pacific Rim cockpits and stop being butts for long enough to be drift-compatible. Sorry... still got Kaijus on my brain."

"But seriously, can't we set up a thing for all three of them? With three keys you gotta turn at once or something."

[Samantha McManus]

"I'm very rarely only one of my selves at a time, from what I know. I don't think anyone is, even if they're as... divided as I am or your dad is."

[Will Stanton]

"Yes, but...if one of yourselves got free for a day, they might be reluctant to come back together, right?"

"Much less months apart. How are ya going to keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen Paree?"

"With shackles and chains, if necessary."

"You catch more flies with honey..."

"Yeah, but then you just have flies. Who wants flies?"

"We're rambling, here."

[Robin Stanton]

"Look, if all of you want more freedom in either direction then knock yourself out. You just can't go one-hundred-ten percent on it. You need each other to reign you in from going full Stanton. You never go full Stanton." she jokes.

[Will Stanton]

A pause.

"Guarantees and concessions. That's what we need. We need guarantees to make concessions." "Because I'm not going to just go back and smile and nod, not now that I've tasted fresh air.
And if I have to serve time locked in a damn broom closet or wrapped around someone's foot, I want my time in the sun, too. Comprende?"

[Robin Stanton]

"You gotta hash that out with the other two. What would you even want us to do, draw up a weekly schedule with No-Pants Saturdays and Broom-Closet Wednesday on it?"

[Will Stanton]

The three looked at each other.

"I mean, that would be quite helpf..."

Wonka!Will was interrupted by Savage!Will tossing a big of chair shrapnel at him.

"You want us to fight this out among ourselves. Alright. I can do that."

[Samantha McManus]

"If you're going to bowl over him every time he tries to speak up, it can be arranged that you get nothing."

[Will Stanton]

Savage!Will rolled his eyes.

"Fine. We'll let him have the floor."

"Um...I was just saying, you know. A schedule might be a bit...I know the other two wouldn't like that. But I don't think it's the worst idea in the world for you guys to check in from time to time, and encourage, you know, all three of us to do our thing. Not with telepathy, necessarily, because I know this is a whole, like, thing. But just...

...It might be nice if you threw a bone to all three of us from time to time. Maybe that's punching us to help, you know, the pantsless one. Maybe that's some kind of responsibility for the X-Man. I don't know, just, like...

He trailed off.

"I don't know what I'm saying. I just, you know. Want to make sure we all get our days in the sun. Or, rather, that mine don't get blotted out."


"We can take care of ourselves," The X-Man chided. "We don't need our hands held through this, and it's probably better to dilute both you AND him than rotate between the three."

[Robin Stanton]

"Hey, it can be both, yeah? Let everyone be in charge some time with input from the others. You make fantastic shoes or dresses or anything at all really, Dad. And there is nobody I would rather have kicking my butt into gear or fighting by my side. There's no one holding you back but yourself, but I would never let either of you three get pushed aside."

[Will Stanton]

"Bah. Words. I suppose that's all we'll get out of the five of you. We'll be right back to where we started before too long, mark my words.

But whatever. It's all fine, I'm sure. No skin off of my nose. What do we need to do to get this shit on the road?"

[Samantha McManus]

"The one who I pried out of the pavement needs a transfusion from both of you, in order to be able to put the town back together."

[Will Stanton]

"Figures he couldn't stand on his own two feet. All that moralizing; no backbone."

"O-or imagination.

"Yes, yes, we get it, I'm terrible, you guys are great, oy. You see the things I have to put up with," the X-Man smiled at Robin.

"A little bit of your clay to seal the recombination will help, significantly, if you please," he added, rolling up one shirt sleeve and placing his arm in the middle of the table.


The others followed suit, in their own fashion -- the Savage! didn't have much of a sleeve to roll up, and the Wonka! clambored on the table and walked his way over towards the other two.

"We, uh, can't do this ourselves. So if one of you would do the honors?..."

[Robin Stanton]

"You got it!" Robin says and lifts her arm that turns into a big meat cleaver before coming down on SavageWill's arm with a loud thunk!

[Narrator]

He had braced himself for the impact, and only winced a little when Robin slammed through. It was a wet, meaty thunk -- it didn't bleed or do anything super-gross like that, but yeah. Ow!

[Samantha McManus]

"...alright, I know this is pretty far from scientific, but can you... science this up a bit, Tosh?"

[Robin Stanton]

"One savage chunk of wild game clay, extra rare." she says, taking the severed arm and placing it in the X-Man's hand.

[Toshiro Narumi]

"I don't know if science holds much sway in here, but I can try," Tosh said. "Maybe... blend up the pieces and funnel it into Hero Will with a tube?"

[Samantha McManus]

"I mean, I feel like the appearance of science would go a long way here..."

[Toshiro Narumi]

"Well then, imagine it as a mad scientist's crazy-straw chemistry set."

[Robin Stanton]

"Yeah, like set of glass things and burners and what-not. Isolate the Wilderness and the Candy particles to put 'em in a syringe."

[Samantha McManus]

"Okay, I guess I'm going to have to make that for you then."

Sam heads to a vacant part of the table and starts to spin seemingly from nothingness a set of burners and elaborate glasswear that frankly shouldn't work but seems impressive. What she's weaving into the construct are impressions she got from the first box, as well as the groundskeeper and from Will's wife while she was in full-science mode.

"Go on, Tosh. Science the shite out of this."

[Toshiro Narumi]

"Alright then," Tosh said, cracking his knuckles before gathering up the donated bits of Will. He stuffed All-Natural Will and Candy Will into separate flasks and turned up the heat to melt them down. When reduced to glowing red and blue liquids, he piped them into a round bottle for mixing. The result turned green in flagrant disregard of color theory and all known laws governing light.

He held up the tubing attached to that bottle and beckoned to the X-Man. "And now to put it in you."

"Phrasin'," Ennio smirked.

[Will Stanton]

"I thought it would be larger," the X-Man quipped, coming over to Tosh. "Hit me, big boy."


As Tosh injected the new combination into the X-Man, the world outside trembled and shuddered.

[Robin Stanton]

Robin watches the brain-science curiously and when the whole outside seems to shake in response to the injection she runs over to a window to take a look at the mindscape at large.

[Will Stanton]

The rumbling continued, shaking the city proper.

From the ground of the factory side, stones were rising, floating in the air. A pair of cobblestone bridges, of sorts, were stretching from one side of the mindscape all the way up and around to the other, twisting and bending in on themselves as they fought against the gravity shift and general impossibility of one landscape hovering over another.

They sort of formed hinges, stapling the two halves together with two half-circles of stone.

"Nnngh...." the X-man said, concentrating. "Ties that bind..."

[Robin Stanton]

"He needs help..."

"Bruce! Yeet me out there!" she shouts, running over to the hulking Shark-Man.

[Toshiro Narumi]

Bruce nodded and prepared to throw whatever form Robin took.

"Launch on your mark," he grinned.

[Robin Stanton]

With a nod Robin jumps at Bruce and in the process curls up into an oversized baseball.

[Toshiro Narumi]

Bruce caught the ball, wound up, and threw the ball towards the bridges with all his considerable might.