I Wish I Was Special

by **Leo Eskandari** » Thu Jun 04, 2020 7:05 pm

Leo took a bite of steak and chewed it thoughtfully. He was trying really hard not to think about his very confusing feelings towards Ainsley, but every train of thought ended up there. How could he tell him how he felt when he himself wasn't sure? What if Ainsley didn't feel the same and it ruined their friendship? He didn't want to think about that. Not at all.

by **Ainsley Green** » Thu Jun 04, 2020 11:27 pm

To bad a living reminder walked in and grabbed a tray.

He was still going through the line, picking out his vegan friendly options.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Thu Jun 04, 2020 11:43 pm

Leo froze when he saw his friend. After a moment he abandoned his food and left the table, immediately dropping to all four. His heart beat fast as he moved towards the nearest exit, keeping the tables and other students between himself and Ainsley.

by **Ainsley Green** » Fri Jun 05, 2020 1:23 am

Luckily for Leo, Ainsley's powers weren't developed enough to mentally spot Leo and he didn't even notice the others attempt to make a mad dash.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jun 05, 2020 1:38 am

But then Leo found a wide, open space between him and the exit. He hesitated but soon made a break for it. And misjudged his size, losing his footing when his shoulder struck the door frame.

by **Ainsley Green** » Fri Jun 05, 2020 10:47 pm

Ainsley turned around as Leo shoulder checked an in animate object, making direct eye contact with the other boy and smiling.

Any one else would need to yell at this distance, but Ains' voice was clear as crystal.

'Hey mate!"

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jun 05, 2020 10:58 pm

Leo panicked and scrambled out the doorway. Once through he sat human-style with his back against the wall, breathing fast and wondering why this scared him so much.

by **Ainsley Green** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 12:04 am

Ainsley didn't follow. He was in the hallway alone.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 12:12 am

He didn't know how long he waited there, feeling ashamed and embarrassed. Ainsley probably thought he was a weirdo now. Hell, everyone probably did. And wasn't standing out even more exactly what he was afraid of?

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" he repeated to himself.

by **Ainsley Green** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 4:29 pm

So far, Leo was being left alone in the hallway to bemoan his situation.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 6:57 pm

Leo built up enough of his usual courage to peek back into the dining hall.

by **Ainsley Green** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 7:03 pm

While Ainsley hadn't followed him, he must have known Leo would double back as he was now sitting at a table perfectly aligned with the door and Leo's line of sight.

'If looks could kill', the one Ainsley wore now would not only spell the end for Leo, but his corpse would have been exhumed and kicked repeatedly.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 8:01 pm

Leo gulped and got up. He proceeded to walk over with the look of a chastised puppy. Taking a seat opposite, he said, "Hey."

by **Ainsley Green** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 8:06 pm

"Oh, now you wish to chat, eh? What changed in three minutes?"

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 8:33 pm

"I dunno. Maybe I just decided to get this over with."

by **Ainsley Green** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 8:42 pm

"Get what over with?" He asked, stabbing his salad.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 9:21 pm

"Ever since we talked last, I've started putting together some things about myself and I'm... I'm freaking out, okay? I'm enough of an outcast as it is and I don't want to make things weird between us, but I... I have to know..."

He froze up, terrified of confessing whatever he was getting at. Or maybe of putting it in words and making it real.

by **Ainsley Green** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 9:44 pm

Ainsley's brow furrowed. " What are you talking about?"

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 9:55 pm

"I think... I think maybe I do..." he said with no small amount of trepidation, "... like you."

by **Ainsley Green** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 9:59 pm

"Oh? You've a funny way of showing it." He replied, violently chewing on his greens.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 10:26 pm

"I was avoidin' you because I'm afraid. Afraid you don't feel the same. Afraid that if you don't, that you'd look at me... kinda like you are now."

by **Ainsley Green** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 10:30 pm

"I'm looking at you like this because you're being a knob, not because you're gay." Ainsley explains.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 10:55 pm

Leo averted his eyes. "I know that... it's just... this hard, okay? I never even thought I might be. Not consciously anyway."

by **Ainsley Green** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 11:45 pm

"What caused you to doubt it?" He asked, finally putting down his fork calmly.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 12:45 am

Leo turned his orange eyes back on Ainsley and said, "You did. After you asked if I liked you, it all started clicking into place: how my ex told me she thought I was only going through the motions with her, how Edward's betrayal hurt more than hers, and how I wasn't admitting to myself just how you make me feel."

by **Ainsley Green** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 12:29 pm

Ainsley stared at Leo awkwardly. If his silence punctuated his anger, it had the same effect on his cumbersome emotions.

"I... don't know if I feel the same way. I've only known you for a little while."

Well it wasn't an outright no.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 2:40 pm

"I knew it... it's weird, right? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything," he said with self-reproach.

by **Ainsley Green** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 4:26 pm

"I didn't say that." Ainsley added.

[i]"What do you know about primary and secondary sexual attraction?" He asked, sounding a bit like a psychiatrist.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 7:20 pm

"Absolutely nothin'."

by **Ainsley Green** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 9:06 pm

"Well... In plain terms it means I don't look at anyone and automatically think 'Wow, look at them, can't wait to get my end off in that'.

But that doesn't mean I won't go with boys. Or... with you."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 9:11 pm

A hopeful look crossed his face. "So, what you're saying is let's stay just friends for now and see where it goes?"

by **Ainsley Green** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 10:36 pm

"Yes. More or less." He said, bobbing his head back and forth.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 10:53 pm

"I can do that," he said with a smile. With his life-changing realization off of his chest, his entire demeanor had softened. It was clearly a relief to take a weight off of his shoulders that had probably been there for years.

by **Ainsley Green** » Wed Jun 10, 2020 12:44 am

"Why did that bother you so much?"

by **Leo Eskandari** » Wed Jun 10, 2020 1:02 am

"So much has changed so fast, Lee. It's hard to accept one more thing. One more thing makin' me different. One more reason to be cast aside. Maybe not by anyone here, but knowin' that doesn't change a lifetime of bein' left behind."

by **Ainsley Green** » Sun Jun 14, 2020 8:20 pm

Ainsley smiled at this friend sympathetically.

"I think I know what you mean. I'm sorry you had to feel that way for so long."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sun Jun 14, 2020 10:09 pm

"Finding this out about myself puts so much in perspective. It's just a shame it took this happening to me to make me take a long enough look at myself to see it."

by **Ainsley Green** » Sun Jun 14, 2020 11:34 pm

"Maybe it's not the circumstances, but the peace that came at the end of them that caused you to allow you time to reflect?"

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sun Jun 14, 2020 11:59 pm

"Maybe. I'm findin' it hard to think of them as ended though. Spent too long waitin' for the other shoe to drop to stop cold turkey. It feels like this place, and having someone like you around, is just too good to last."

by **Ainsley Green** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 12:03 am

"Well neither is going anywhere." Ainsley assured him.

[Drama] I Wish I Was Special

[Drama] I Wish I Was Special

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