I2: I Said PianEE!

[Will Stanton]

Will was in the music room, experimenting with the piano some more. He was "inventing" all sorts of hit tunes, which sounded strangely like the hits of the '70s and '80s.

[Narrator]

A couple of discordant notes sneak into the melody, mostly sticking to the rhythm but almost sounding like someone's walking around inside the piano. After a couple of these notes the cover suddenly slams shut on Will's fingers!

[Will Stanton]

"Gah!" Will shouted, pulling his hands out.

His fingers had been flattened, and were throbbing red.

"What the heck?" Will asked, cracking open the top of the piano to see what was what.

[Narrator]

Inside the piano is... nothing. Aside from the usual piano pieces. There's the sound of small, rapid footsteps behind him though just before the small bench he's been sitting on gets kicked into the back of his knees.

[Will Stanton]

THAT bent Will's KNEES out of shape, and he tumbled forward, into the bowels of the piano.

"What the heck!" he shouted, trying to gather himself and look out over the lip of the instrument.

[Narrator]

He looks out just in time to see a small person of some sort turn into a red blur of motion as it jumps up onto the piano and onto the lip, stomping down hard on it.

[Will Stanton]

"What th....YEOWCH!" Will shouted, as he was flattened into the piano, his fingers sticking out from under the lid where he had been trying to pull himself out.

There was muffled shouting and banging as Will tried to get back out.

[Narrator]

Meanwhile the little man on top of the piano pulls out a nasty-looking knife and swiftly cuts off one of Will's finger. Only to angrily jump onto the piano keys and stomp around when the digit just kind of falls off without so much as a drop of blood.

"What thrice-named devil are you stupid thing, that you don't even have blood to wring!?" The little man takes his red hat and starts slapping it against the piano in an impressive temper tantrum.

[Will Stanton]

Inside the piano, Will was getting the ever-loving crap beaten out of him, as the hammers slammed down on him as they tried to hit the strings. The sound the piano made wasn't precisely brilliant music, either, though the longer the beastie jumped up and down, the closer to "accurate" music it became, as Will flattened out enough to start offering less and less resistance to the relentlessly pounding hammers.

THough, it should be fair, the moaning didn't really go well with the notes the beastie was slamming.

The finger just sat there, all clay-like and not blood filled at all. What a disappointment.

[Narrator]

The angry Redcap stops after a while and leans down over the edge of the piano to look at the bottom. It really should have resulted in him falling off, but physics don't seem to be of particular concern to him as he inspects the underside of the instrument for any seeping blood. "Damnit, damnit, curse and slam it! Stupid thing looks like a man but ain't no blood here, what a scam!" The little man picks up the finger he cut off and gnaws on it testingly for a moment before spitting it out. "Not even flesh, not even real! It tastes like clay, an awful meal!"

[Will Stanton]

Will began to try to force the piano lid back open.

This was hard, as he was bent more or less out of shape, and lacked the physical strength to put up much resistance, as he was flattened quite thoroughly, but struggle he did!

[Narrator]

The Redcap doesn't looks like it's intent on stopping Will from climbing out of the piano, it's much too pre-occupied with being angry and jumping in place to vent it's frustrations. "Find some others, make 'em bleed. No more bothers, dye my tweed." it nods to itself. "Bring my knife and bring my pin, snap their fingers, stick their skin." it goes on, apparently having calmed down a little. He picks up his knife and reaches into his little vest, pulling out an impossibly long needle before hopping down from the piano and onto the floor.

[Will Stanton]

Wait, that sounded bad! Time for some...X-TEAM action!

"I c...can't let you do that..." Will said, sliding out of the piano and crashing with a thud to the floor.

[Narrator]

"It's still alive, that does surprise. It looks for strife! Let's stab it's eyes!" the small man yelps out in a mixture of surprise and excitement. On closer inspection he doesn't even seem so much like a small man. His mouth is much too wide and his skin is wrinkly in a way that doesn't make him look old so much as it makes him look like his skin is splitting open here and there. He takes a couple two-legged hops over towards Will, brandishing his weapons.

[Will Stanton]

"Ack!" Will said, trying to defend himself with a patented Onyx-punch!

IT would work better if he still had Onyx's rough dimensions, rather than being flattened somewhat.

[Narrator]

The Redcap hops over the awkward punch and lands on top of Will, driving his knife into the clay blob. What he's expecting to accomplish is anybody's guess though. It might just be the only trick he has up his sleeve.

[Will Stanton]

The knife sank in!

...It had no real effect, though it DID end up pinning Will to the floor some.

"Hey! Quit it!"

[Narrator]

"Where are your bones and where is your blood? I hear your moans but dry is the cut!" the man demands from Will. He seems really upset about the lack of bodily fluids.

[Will Stanton]

"I don't have that stuff! That stuff is nasty. You don't want that stuff. Why would you want that stuff?"

[Narrator]

"Good for color, good for fun, make them fear us, make them run!" the Redcap screeches. He grabs one of Will's arms (or the what roughly corresponds to it anyway) and starts pulling on it, wrapping it around his arm like he's gathering up a rope. "Has no juices, has no use, find some others, make a noose!"

[Will Stanton]

"Woah! Cut that out!" Will said, trying to squirm out.

However, with the Redcap having declared a use for him, Will found himself unable to control much about his body's state. "No fair!"

[Narrator]

The Redcap just goes about twisting Will into a length of rope that he throws over his shoulder, marching through the door and out of this dimension.