We're Here To Talk About Your Car's Extended Warranty...

[Miriam Bell]

"Then why do we need a label at all? We're closer than is probably healthy, can't we just leave it at that?"

[Wyll]

"Hey, Sam," Will said. "How long did it take before I realized that this trios thing also meant that I was in a relationship with you. Was it three weeks? Four? Did I make it the full six; was I that oblivious?"

[Samantha McManus]

"Can we accept that our friend who can be anything might like a bit of specificity in their life?"

[Miriam Bell]

"What, so we can reach into the cauldron and pull out 'The Girlfriend Experience'? What would that even mean? What if stamping a label on things changes who they are? What if it molds them into what my messed up experiences associate with that? You both can and have turned into how other people see you. I don't want to give that any more weight than I have to..."

[Wyll]

"Oh, every time you pull something out, you're putting your stamp on it," the ogre frowned. "And every time I crawl out, I put stamp a label on it, too. This label just reads 'ogre' , and it's been stamped over poor Sam. That means I want certain things, and act certain ways, but it doesn't make me any less Will.

You experimented some, right? In the time loop? You must know I'm harder to quash than that."

[Miriam Bell]

"Yes." she admits curtly. "But I also know that there are still eight people in a mental institute who regularly scream their throats raw over losing a sister that was never theirs because I burned that moment into their minds."

[Wyll]

"You can't keep torturing yourself over mistakes in the past," Will frowned. "You can't assume that Sam or I will break because you were not perfect under traumatic conditions."

[Miriam Bell]

"I know it's not rational."

[Samantha McManus]

"Miriam I know everybody needs space sometimes but it feels like you're just reinforcing this rather than giving us a bloody chance."

[Miriam Bell]

"It's just a stupid label. Things worked fine before."

[Will Stanton]

"I think that may be because Sam and I were assuming things that appear not to be true."

[Miriam Bell]

"That's not--fine! I don't see how that changes anything but if it'd somehow invalidate everything that happened between us then yes, we're girlfriends! Going steady. Seeing each other. Emotionally attached. Whatever. God help me, for some reason being around you two is... nice."

[Samantha McManus]

"I mean, 'closer than is probably healthy' wasn't... nearly as romantic as it sounded in your head."

"I guess we just don't want you to think of us as a problem, aye?"

[Miriam Bell]

"If anyone's proven to be 'The Problem' I'm pretty sure it's me. Maybe Will is a close second." she attempts a joke.

[Wyll]

"Considering I've increased the size of Sam's brow by 75%, yeah, I'm not not the problem," the ogre admitted.

[Samantha McManus]

"I probably should still take a bit of blame, there."

[Wyll]

"Not at all," the ogre crossed her arms. "Miriam may have freaked out about it, but it is not like I was upset about that stuff. I was going to do the same to you, 'member? I just wasn't expecting...you know. Consequences."

[Miriam Bell]

Miriam has to swallow down a snippy response about Will of course forgiving Sam because even she realizes that's unfair. "Look I'm... not good at relationships. The problems you two cause are rarely because of anything you did or could expect. Most of my problems are of my own making. Like not wanting to risk changing anything between us by putting a label on it and now... this is happening."

[Wyll]

"Yes, well," the Ogre grunted. "Problems are problems, no matter where they come from."

[Samantha McManus]

"Sort of says something that we keep putting this shite off until it becomes a problem."

[Miriam Bell]

"Well I'm fond of both of you, I don't want to upset you and I'm sorry that I did. If that constitutes girlfriends then... yeah. And if you're going to try and eat each other do it in a way that doesn't Ogerfy you. Unless you're into that."

[Wyll]

"For now, I suggest we get out of here before anyone else is sucked into a nightmare dimension."

[Samantha McManus]

"Not a nightmare dimension," Sam snorts. "I mean it's bloody weird, but so are you. Comes with the territory around here."

[Wyll]

"OK, bad dream after eating too much sugar before bed," Will allowed, thin-grin on pursed lips. "Still. Not very safe. I think it happened because you just shoved a me with plenty of memories to be absorbed in to the pot, but there's no real way to test that.

Why don't I take you both to the XUB and get you something to drink. We can focus on Sam thinking non-Ogre thoughts and Miriam thinking pro-Girlfriend thoughts, and by the time we get back, I'm sure I'll have cooked up some kind of safety mechanism to stop this from happening again, how does that sound."

[Miriam Bell]

"I could use a drink." Miriam agrees. "And Will, putting aside how... much that was to get thrown into, the only truly scary thing is absorbing or being absorbed into the millenia of memories you have floating around in there. Losing an arm and having to be taught how to use it is... weird but it's not your fault that it makes me feel insecure next to two experts."

[Wyll]

"Mmhmm," Will smiled indulgently, patting Miriam on the head with one massive hand. "Let's get the two of you kids drunk."

[Miriam Bell]

"Whatever, old lady." Miriam tries to brush it off with a joke. She knows how Will meant this. She can, after all, read her mind and she's gotten better about not letting her own feelings color and filter it. And yet she still feels a little dismissed and belittled and forces herself to swallow it down. "You're paying."

[Wyll]

"As I'm the only one here who runs a moderately successful small business, of course I am. Your sugar mama will provide, as always."