Snipe Hunt

[Samantha McManus]

"...let me guess, our first guest is..."

She goes to open the box.

[Will Stanton]

The interior of the box was lined with foam, form-fitting to the six-inch tall Will, in full Wonka fashion, top hat and all, lying inside of it.

"M...morning, Samantha," he abashedly smiled up.

[Will Stanton]

The X-Man, for his part, rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed.

[Samantha McManus]

"You've neglected a partner, haven't you?"

[Will Stanton]

"On...on the contrary. The factory's working faster than ever before. I'm very proud of it..."

[Samantha McManus]

"You left one of the three baked into pavement and pies. It was quite a task for me to extract him."

[Will Stanton]

"You didn't have to extricate him. Being baked into a pie can be a lot of fun."


"For you," the X-Man butt in. "It can be a lot of fun for you."

"Don't be stubborn," Wonka!Will replied. "You just have to close your eyes and slip away, and then it's all happiness."

[Samantha McManus]

"I think we can agree that what's good for one of you isn't necessarily what's good for all of you. That's why there's three of you, aye?"

[Will Stanton]

"Well, yes, you're not wrong. And I'm very sorry that the X-Man got caught in the middle; he has every right to be on his own, too. Perhaps we can divide things into three? I'd be more than happy to donate a little clay for him to be shunted off into..."

[Samantha McManus]

"Were you unhappy when the three of you had to work together?"

[Will Stanton]

"Well, strictly speaking, no, but... Wonka!Will hrmed.

"You see me. I'm not really...one for standing up for myself. They bully me more often than not, and so we rarely do what I want..."


"Bul...oh, bullshit. I am sorry, but keeping you from doing dumb things does not count as 'bullying' in any way, shape or form," the X-Man protested. "We have responsibilities and long-term consequences to deal with that you conveniently want to ignore."


"See what I mean?" Wonka!Will smiled up, abashedly.

[Samantha McManus]

"But he protects you from the worst of the third one, aye?"

[Will Stanton]

"Again, yes, but I'm also protected from him by him not being here,"

"Prot...he wrote code in your head! Nailah's been taking advantage of it for weeks now! You're more vulnerable to him than you ever were when we were together!" the X-Man blustered.


"...That's different."

[Samantha McManus]

"He's been treating you like his dishrag. He would've taken your name if we hadn't stepped in."

"There's another problem, too."

"A certain someone got into the driver's seat after the split."

"I suspect because you've been keeping our hostess here all to yourself."

"And rock candy won't hold her forever."

[Groundskeeper]

"Melpomene has always been one to take what she wants," Sam's counterpart nodded. "She wants to run people's lives. Here, at least, I am more content to sit back and watch. I am, after all, just an echo; the end result of spending so much time roosting inside our dear Mr. Stanton.

But Melpomene merely rented our boy for a few traumatic months. I've opted to make a home of it. I can keep her in check, aye."

[Will Stanton]

"He's been treating you like his dishrag. He would've taken your name if we hadn't stepped in."

"And then we would have come up with a new name. I don't mind being treated like a dishrag. Not at all. They try to stop me."

"Because no one respects a dishrag. No one loves a dishrag. You don't want to just be thrown away when people are done with you, do you?

...Don't answer that."

[Samantha McManus]

"I don't think it can be argued against that you've operated better as a triumvirate. You've certainly done so for the majority of your existence. There can be negotiations perhaps on how to operate better, but you need to all come to the table for that."

[Will Stanton]

"But negotiations means I'd have to...you know, stand up for myself. Isn't it better just to patch things up as they are? I could stay nice and cozy here in my box..."

[Samantha McManus]

"Or your factory could make the best damned products it's ever made."

[Will Stanton]

"I prefer the purity of what we're doing now to the utility demanded by the X-Man, or the viciousness demanded by the tribe.

But...I mean, I guess I could come with, and listen at least. But...if I don't like what I hear..."

[Groundskeeper]

"You will go, and you will listen, and you will make yourself heard. I do not give you permission to hide from this, William Stanton," Sam's counterpart stated, with a degree of finality. "I would not be pleased, otherwise."

[Samantha McManus]

"...alright, that's the two of them coming."

Sam slumps into one of the chairs with a sigh.

"I waited too bloody long to do this, didn't I?"

[Groundskeeper]

The other Sam place a cup of tea in front of this Sam, and sat down in her own seat.

"He's not your responsibility, is he?"

[Samantha McManus]

"A lot of people would disagree with that," she says, ruefully remembering what Miranda said to her.

"Besides, he's a friend, aye? I just didn't want to hurt him worse in the process."

[Groundskeeper]

The other Sam nodded, sipping her tea.

"It's frightening, aye? What you can do. The power to mold men's minds, and the dangers that brings with it. And the pressures that puts on you to perform on cue."

[Samantha McManus]

"And there's all these bloody things to compare myself to. Worlds where I went wrong. Worlds where I went right." She gestures to the Groundskeeper.

"Prior versions of myself, at that. And everybody's telling me to just find my own way in all this, but they're not the ones getting slapped in the face by it constantly."

[Groundskeeper]

The other Sam sipped her tea.

"You do not need to live up to other universes' expectations. But the expectations we set for ourselves can be the most damning of them all.

If it makes you feel better...I was as lost as you, at your age. Perhaps even more so. I made mistakes; I made choices I regret. And I lived, and I learned, and I came into myself, at long last, when I was the most needed.

Things happened over the years that I didn't always quite understand. And I bollocksed them up more times than I care to remember. I made it through, however, because I had people who cared about me, and I cared about them enough to take even the most frightening leaps.

You have your wolves. You have my Champion and her daughter. You have your family to help you when you fall. And you will fall. But you will get back up again, as many times as it takes."