[Drama] Room 103: In My Defense, You Were Delicious

[Leo Eskandari]

"Maybe me and the pooch should get out of sight until you can calm birdman down," Leo said, leading the dog away a little.

[Ainsley Green]

Ainsley reminded himself this is exactly why he hated bloody fucking birds so bloody fucking much. Such dramatics for something that could legitimately deuce out of any situation, provided it hadn't been injured.

But he had to remind himself that technically this was not a bird at all, but a sentient being currently taking the form of one. And maybe, Will was injured, and this was how they were choosing to express that in the moment.

"Yes, take the dog with you and go for a bit. This wanker and I will have a little chat." He replied to Leo, then switched back to bird Will.

"Come now Will-Raven, no need for all that. They're going for the moment, which means you and I can discuss this like civilized creatures."

[Will Stanton]

Discuss? What discuss. Beast gone. All good?

While the bird Ainsley was talking to was, as he knew, technically not a bird, it sure would pass the Pepsi Challenge. Maybe that was from spending too much time in Sam's proverbial belfry, or maybe he was just that good at shifting? Hard to say, as Ainsley and Will hadn't ever really interacted before. Either way, it was acting far more like the bloody birds that Ainsley was used to hearing than a civilized adult human being, and that was problematic.

[Ainsley Green]

Ainsley narrowed his eyes a bit, trying to plan out how he was going to make this happen.

He pulled out his cellphone and texted Leo.

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The bird is too deep into being a bird to realize she's not one. I think i'm probably going to have to risk waking everyone in dorm 103 to get this Will back into the mirror and the memories transferred to the others in order for them to sort things out and be able to understand on an intelligent level what happened.

"Why don't you come down then friend, and I will help you return to your flock safely." Ainsley had been on a few outings with Sam now, and had more or less gleaned there might be a reason Will took this particular form.

[Will Stanton]

Fine here. Outside. Cool air. No return! Beast there.

Well, now he was just being stubborn.

[Leo Eskandari]

Leo shot one back.

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Ugh. Damn birds. I'll go get Sam. Really not looking forward to explaining this.

Reluctantly, he started back to the school.

[Ainsley Green]

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I would like to try something before we drag the Morrigan into this.

She can't be the solver of every problem after all.

"Guess I'll just eat this bag of corn chips on my own then." He replied to Will, aiming to appeal to the strongest of animal instincts.

[Leo Eskandari]

He stopped his return and went back to walking the dog around.

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More than willing to wait.

[Will Stanton]

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I would like to try something before we drag the Morrigan into this.

She can't be the solver of every problem after all.

"Guess I'll just eat this bag of corn chips on my own then." He replied to Will, aiming to appeal to the strongest of animal instincts.

Chips? Where chips? MY chips! the bird started squawking.

[Ainsley Green]

Ainsley carefully slipped one out of the bag and held it out for Will to come and collect from his palm. He would not make a move to grab Will.

He had a slicker plan in mind.

[Will Stanton]

Score. Corn chips. Stupid humans, not knowing what they had when they had it.

And now the bird had one corn chip, ho ho ho, and it was eyeing the bag. Because what is better than one corn chip? MANY corn chips.

[Ainsley Green]

Ainsley slowly moved back towards campus, fishing his fingers around in the fresh bag, seeming as if he was trying (and failing) to get his talon-less phalanges around one.

In truth, he was counting them out to make sure to ration them enough to get Bird Will back to the mirror.

Once he knew exactly how many were in the bag, he would occasionally 'accidentally' drop one as he pretended to eat them and walked back towards the dorms.

[Will Stanton]

Hah! Stupid human. Now bird had corn chips. The fools! The foolish fools!


Ainsley was fairly easily able to drag the bird back towards the dorms; birds were not the most intelligent of creatures.

[Ainsley Green]

As he walked towards the front entry of the dorms, dropping a fresh chip every once in awhile to keep Will on the hook, he texted Ainsley.

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Return the dog through the back and send the butler to the front door.

Will probably won't tolerate me grabbing, but will probably be comfortable with one of it's own collecting them.

[Leo Eskandari]

Leo did as instructed, returning to room 103 to return the dog and ask for assistance retrieving the bird.

[Will Stanton]

It took another minute for the Butler to come out for Leo, as if he hasn't been standing by the door waiting for his return.

"I must say, your nocturnal visitations are becoming alarmingly predictable, Master Eskandari," Will quipped, when he saw who was at the door.

[Leo Eskandari]

Leo explained the situation and that they needed help getting the wayward Will back to his mirror because he was too far into being a bird to be reasoned with.

[Will Stanton]

"...You wish to bring a bird into the dormitories," the Butler said -- not a question, a statement of fact. "It takes all sorts, I suppose.

What sort of help was it you were hoping to obtain?"

[Leo Eskandari]

" Even Ainsley has trouble reasoning with birds. So bird Will might listen to you and let you collect him since you're both Wills."

[Will Stanton]

Will just gave Leo a long stare at that.

"...Very well, then. I shall endeavor to do my best, although I shall caution you to not expect a miracle to occur on the commons this night."

[Leo Eskandari]

"I never do," he answered.

"Thanks."

[Ainsley Green]

Ainsley took out a sharpie and a post it note pad while he waited.

When the butler Will, Ainsley would toss the bird another corn chip, then hand the bag over to Butler-Will. On the bag was a note, which he deliberately kept turned away from Bird-Will on the off chance they could read.

The note read - "Feed until mirror, then toss bag inside."

[Will Stanton]

The butler looked at the corn chips, disapprovingly.

"Didn't your mother teach you not to feed strange birds after midnight?"

[Miriam Bell]

As they're standing at the front door to the dorms, exchanging corn chips, one of the windows to their left opens up and a (considering it's the middle of the night) impeccably dressed Miriam leans out.

"What the bloody hell are you people doing? People are trying to sleep!" she hisses, trying to keep her voice down but still express a certain intensity. "Not me, obviously, but people in general."

[Will Stanton]

"May I so humbly suggest," Butler!Will said, "That if your intention is to aid in the slumber of the other denizens of this domicile, hissing outside your window may not achieve your desired endpoints at the speed you desire."

[Ainsley Green]

Ainsley ignored Miriam as inspiration hit him (and also because he couldn't respond verbally) and he quickly jotted down a second note for the Butler!Will.

It read.

"Do you serve, or not?"

Ainsley was trying to use Old Will logic against them. As he understood it, Wills placed a high value on things performing their functions, and servants serve. A butler that does not serve is not performing it's function.

He only hoped Will still operated under this logic. The bird suggested they did, but he couldn't know for certain.

[Will Stanton]

The Butler scoffed at the note. "I hardly believe aviary maintenance falls into my general bailiwick. If you are looking for a corvid wrangler, I might suggest that Ms. McManus be better suited for your particular purposes."



Nevertheless, he reached out, as if to grab the corn chips --- and then swiftly, his fingers stretched out, lengthening and turning to brass, as a sudden birdcage formed around the bird.

This did NOT please the bird, who resumed squawking and yelling, pecking at the cage's bars ineffectively.

Trickery! Foul play! Deceit! Monsters!

[Ainsley Green]

"Into the mirror, please."

He reminded the Butler!Will, then followed along.

"Don't worry. We'll give you more corn chips if you behave."

[Will Stanton]

"Yes, yes, I shall dispose of it in the mirror," the butler sighed, turning tail and walking back towards the dorms, the bird squawking and yelling to wake the dead.

[Ainsley Green]

When Ainsley does end up seeing Leo, he gives him the double thumbs up like this was going exactly as intended.

[Samantha McManus]

As waking the dead generally concerns the Morrigan, there's a stirring from Sam's room.

Or perhaps it's just bloody loud.

[Will Stanton]

"If you do not cease your infernal squawking," Butler!Will was saying, as he carefully opened the door back to Room 103, "You are going to awaken the wolves. And the vampire. And the ravens. And then you will be quite the tasty morsel, I am assured."

SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK.

Such language.

[Miriam Bell]

"Thanks a lot." Miriam tells Ainsley and Leo as Will brings the noisy bird inside. "A plus work catching a bird in the middle of the night. Find a better kind of date activity." she adds along with a pointed look at the two.

[Ainsley Green]

For his part, Ainsley wasn't responding how Miriam was used to in multiple ways.

The first was that Miriam would be used to humans actively thinking about 'what they would say, if polite society didn't require them to bite their tongue'. But Ainsley's status as a mute forced his brain to develop differently than the average person, and Ainsley's brain simply didn't extrapolate thoughts into constant verbalizations because the ability to communicate in such a way was never on the table for him. His brain was more abstract than that, frequently parsing out the thoughts as concepts, or feelings rather than easy to digest words.

The second was that he did not feel bad at all about what he had done. Unlike a lot of Brits, Ainsley didn't give into the peer pressure associated to polite British society because his disability-revealed-to-be-mutation combined with his life long poverty had kept a wall between him and them. One he never intended to scale. As such, he was very hard to shame into submission.

This was keenly highlighted by him doing the running man backwards in the middle of the hallway as they moved back to Will's room in celebration of his own genius, a act of confidence that their American brethren might associate to an end zone dance.

[Leo Eskandari]

"Yeah yeah, you're awesome," Leo chuckled with a smile as he followed.

"I just hope that damn bird doesn't wake the whole dorm."

[Will Stanton]

With a thrust, Butler!Will shoved his hand/cage/bird thing into the mirror, which rippled and fought for a second, before growing still.

He glanced at Miriam for a moment.

Then, he turned to the dancing Ainsley, and grabbed him by the scruff of his collar, leading him away from the room. "Yes, I do not believe we will be having any of that now."

"

[Ainsley Green]

Ainsley went without a fight.

Kinda.

He didn't stop dancing, but he did change it up from the running man to flossing as he stepped in time with the butler to be thrown out.

The absolutely ridiculous expression on his face gave the whole situation a very rubberhose-vibe.

[Will Stanton]

Grabbing one of Ainsley's legs, Butler!Will let Ainsley fly, literally throwing him out of the room, Jazz style..

"Good riddance, if I do say so myself."

[Samantha McManus]

Sam's door opens a crack, though the light isn't on inside.

"What. The. Bloody. Hell. Is. Going. On. Out. There?"

Those present would get the impression of being surrounded by a massive flock of birds.

[Will Stanton]

Butler!Will took a quarter-step back under the pressure, but regained composure rather quickly.

"X-Men business, ma'am. Apparently, the presence of a bird in the woods was grounds for waking up half the dorms in the middle of the night.

The threat has been neutralized."