[Relationship] Once Upon a Dream

[Jezabelle Sherlock]

The trio of Jezuits helped Katarina back to her room, presuming that the princess would feel most comfortable in her own lodgings, especially as she couldn't even begin to estimate when she'd feel up to being a "public figure" again. Right now, she had to get comfortable with being Katarina again. They helped the girl toward her bed, speaking softly to her as the "main" one went ahead to try and get things in order.

"Alright, let's get you comfy. Shoes are prohibited, all other garments are optional."
'Would you like some music?' One of them asked, in the process of getting a bottle of water from the mini-fridge. She was going to DOTE on this redhead.

[Katarina Karkov]

"Were those royal decrees of some sort? Thou shalt not wear shoes, but thine shirt is on thy own recognizance?" Katarina said, with a smile that was more of a wince with aspirations. She was trying, at least.

"If there is any fizzy water, that would be wonderful. And music sounds lovely, yes."

[Jezabelle Sherlock]

"The princess may tell her subjects what to do, but her handmaidens tell her what she has to do next, do they not?" One of the Jez pointed out, a play on how often some member of Katarina's staff was telling her she had to go somewhere to do something at some time - always with the schedules. But not today. Today the schedule was bed, and that was it. Another reached for a can of lightly-flavoured seltzer water, while the third tapped on her phone until music began to play through it softly - not quite a lullaby, but it wasn't death metal either.

"And I'm only just now realizing how dangerously that 'order' -" The girl did air quotes before handing Katarina the can of mango-flavoured fizzy stuff. "- was to 'barefoot and pregnant'."

[Katarina Karkov]

"Well, that, too, is the duty of a princess, after all," Katarina said, scrunching her nose up. "Lying back and thinking of Symkaria. You sure you don't want to be the princess?" she joked, gratefully taking the water.

[Jezabelle Sherlock]

"I dunno, seems to me that more privileges leads to more problems. I think I'm pretty content to be the humble handmaiden, whose true beauty is hidden behind her glasses and her updo." The copies began to join Katarina on the bed, ready to pamper and comfort her to the best of their abilities.

"Besides, I don't think I can pull off the redheaded look."

[Katarina Karkov]

"Well, I'm not sure I can pull off the ideal, unmarred look anymore, so perhaps we're even.

And I believe you could pull off more looks than you give yourself credit for," she said, looking into the eyes of the one of the Jezez on the bed, thoughtfully.

[Jezabelle Sherlock]

The Jez looked at Katarina sympathetically with the "unmarred" comment, another moving closer to her.

"It's a new look, that's for sure. But... I think it's very pretty, actually." Another was tapping on her phone, looking for something.

"I'd like to show you a few pictures... do you think you're up for that?"

[Katarina Karkov]

Katarina nodded. "What sorts of pictures?"

[Jezabelle Sherlock]

One of the Jez scooted closer and held up her phone. The first picture was of a handsome-looking dark-skinned man, who had several scars over different parts of his face. She swiped, bringing up a picture of a rather pretty girl with pockmarks from acne. A black woman with vitiligo. A redheaded young man with a birthmark. The cause of the markings varied, but every picture had a person with something on their face or head.

"Do you consider any of these people to be unattractive?"

[Katarina Karkov]

Katarina sat quietly as Jez scrolled through some photos on the phone, taking in the wide variety of faces she could pull up -- the full variety of the human experience, bumps and warts and all.

"...I'm not a fan of the redhead," she said, after a moment.

[Jezabelle Sherlock]

"And why's that?" Jez asked, scrolling back through the feed in search of the one in question.

[Katarina Karkov]

The birthmark on his face was a bit reminiscent of lines. If you squinted enough, at any rate.

"Never did quite trust a redhead, and he has a bit too much stubble."

[Jezabelle Sherlock]

"Well, that's kind of part of what I'm getting at here, sort of. You don't dislike that person because of the birthmark, it's other factors." Jez said softly as she continued to scroll through the pictures. "These people, they're not unattractive. They're beautiful and handsome, and they seem like nice people, yeah? They're not attractive DESPITE those scars and markings, and they're not attractive BECAUSE of them either. They're cute, AND they have them."

She took her phone away, switching to a website to order some pizza from some chain, one that didn't offer tuna as a topping, while another Jez continued. "I know it might seem like I'm telling you not to care about this or something, or I'm trying to rush you. And that's not what I'm trying to do. I just... you've been through so much this past week, these past 4 months... hell, your entire life. We're all taught to push our feelings down inside and never let them out, that had be especially true for you I know. But... this is a safe space. You can let vent, you can let it all out, you can let yourself be vulnerable - because I'm here to look after you."

[Katarina Karkov]

Katarina's hand tightened a bit into a fist -- her entire body posture was very closed off and internal, still; tense and carefully controlled.

"It is...

Once you start letting yourself be vulnerable, you can't just..." she said, taking a deep breath and letting it out with a shudder.

"I let myself be vulnerable around Nika, and look what happened. I let myself be vulnerable around Jacques and look what happened," she said, beginning to shake. "If I'm not in control, if I let myself trust, look what happens. I have to remain in control, I have to keep everything inside, because when I don't..." she said, breathing in and out faster and faster.

"

[Jezabelle Sherlock]

One of the Jez placed her hand on Katarina's chest, another wrapping her hand around the girl's fist.

"What happened with Nika and Jacques is not going to happen with me. I WILL NOT allow it. If you don't have some sort of outlet for these feelings... it will compromise you. Whether you explode or take them out on someone, or they muddle your thoughts, or who knows what else... they will not just go away if you shove them down. I cannot predict the future, but right now I will do everything in my power to keep you safe, safe to be Katarina. Safe to not be the princess for a little while but to be a girl who's been hurt, and betrayed, and suffering, and confused, and needs someone there for her."

[Katarina Karkov]

Katarina quivered a little bit, but, to her credit, did not immediately break down in sobs. Considering this was someone who had been attacked and nearly killed, kidnapped, seen her country thrown into chaos, and ended up with some new scars, as shiny as they may be, this was a credit to the fact that she was made of sterner stuff, the kind of character necessary for leading a country in difficult times.

Perhaps slightly less to her credit, depending on your point of view, was the fact that she collapsed into one of the Jez's chests, burying her face in her girlfriend and hyperventilating.

"Oh, Jez. I'm just so scared, all the time. The nightmares, every night. The news every morning. If I could throw it all away...

I don't deserve someone like you."

Or, at least, that's what Jez thought she said. It was a bit muffled, after all.

[Jezabelle Sherlock]

Jez gently pet Katarina's head as the girl buried their face in her chest - and also hugged her from behind, sandwiching her in comfort and affection.

"No, you deserve someone better. Someone who can take the nightmares away. You've gone through so much, I wish there was more I could do for you."

[Katarina Karkov]

"You do," Katarina said, muffled as she was by Jez. "I don't have so many nightmares when we're together. And no one else would take me to a festival to eat greasy food and dance. You don't treat me as untouchable, or naïve, or an obstacle, or a display piece. You almost make me feel normal, almost."

[Jezabelle Sherlock]

"Then I guess I know where I'm going to be spending my nights from now on." Jez said softly as she stroked Katarina's hair.

[Katarina Karkov]

"I hereby appoint you the royal pillow. Or a couple of them," Katarina mumbled into Jez.

She looked back up at Jez. "It's really not that bad? The scarring?"

[Jezabelle Sherlock]

"I'm looking forward to be announced as that at all official functions." Jez retorted before she gave the top of Katarina's head a little kiss.

"It's... striking. And having known you before, it will take some getting used to. But it is... strangely beautiful. It seems less like scars and more like... art."

[Katarina Karkov]

Jez meant well, but Katarina sighed and slumped back against the Jez behind her.

"That's how so many of the nightmares start. A 'work of art'. Behind glass, in a tower, in a crate. Look, but don't touch."

[Jezabelle Sherlock]

"Mmm... it's a little late to tell me that. The horse has already left the barn."

[Katarina Karkov]

"The curators will throw you out, I'm sure," Katarina deadpanned. "Don't you know I'm too important to handle? Why, you could damage me, and then what would I be worth?" she continued, running one finger along her golden facial cracks.

[Jezabelle Sherlock]

"The curators can try." Jez corrected, before she gave Katarina's head another little kiss, rubbing the girl's head and upper arms. "I dunno how much you would be, but you're already worth the world to me, and nothing is going to change that."

[Katarina Karkov]

"Just wait until they pitch melting me down into commemorative coins, and you'll change your tune. Non-fungible, limited edition, sure to rise in value in years to come."

She leaned back and snuggled into Jez some. "I'm sorry. I know you said to vent, and I know you know I've had a hard time; I just don't mean to sully our time together with talk of common nightmares. You are worth a great deal to me, too."

[Jezabelle Sherlock]

"You're totally fungable. We've funged several times." Jez joked as she did her best to comfort the snarky princess.

"Don't apologize for venting. I said I'd be here to help you. And besides... relationships aren't always fun times and good feelings. We have to be there for each other when they're at their worst. It's not all carnivals and movie nights, there's flus and tragedies too. And I'll be here for you through the good and the bad... and I already know you'd do the same for me.

"Just... don't try to make me any homemade chicken soup, okay?"

[Katarina Karkov]

"It was that bad, was it?" Katarina said, mustering a smile. "Fine. We shall dine on the finest of pizzas then."

[Jezabelle Sherlock]

"Oh no, I'm not falling for that trick again. Last time I got you fine pizza, you turned your nose up at it for having fish and dandelions on it. Nope, we're getting the cheap greasy stuff that'll make us feel guilty."

[Katarina Karkov]

"I suppose I'll agree to your terms, guska," Katarina said with a mock-sigh -- much better than the real sighs she had been sighing.