Xaviers!

Tosh, freshly showered but emotionally and mentally weary from the search for Will, opened the door to his dorm room and trudged inside. He didn't even bother turning on the light as he headed for his bed to lie down for a moment.

"Uuugh..." he groaned.

"You don't smell too pleasant, yourself," said a voice from the desk in the darkness.

"Gah!"

He shot up, suddenly alert.

"Who the hell are you?!"

"Who the hell are any of us? What the hell are we doing here? What the hell is our purpose?" he quipped, tightening something with a screwdriver.

"I mean who are you and why are you in my room, at my desk... is that my novelty Doctor Who screwdriver?" he asked with irritation, getting to his feet.

"Oh, is that what this is? It's terrible; I'm pretty sure it's going to break if I keep using it."

He kept using it.

"You're not supposed to use it! It's a collectible!" he protested, storming over to attempt take it.

"Gee, aren't you the grabby one? Wait your turn, it'll all be OK!" Cam said, squirming out of his chair to try to keep out of range of Tosh.

"Trespassers don't get a turn. Now hand it over," he demanded. He found himself fresh out of patience and it was most definitely audible.

"Oh, I'm no trespasser.

Well, I am a trespasser, but I won't be soon. I would have thought you would have liked all that wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey junk?"

"Been there, done that. And it's not as fun as it looks. So just stop using my stuff to..." he said, trailing off as he looks at what Cam is actually building.

Cam had disassembled would looked like a pencil sharpener, and had a battery, a couple magnets and a loose length of wire from somewhere alongside it.

As a matter of fact, where was Tosh's pencil sharpener?

While Tosh hardly ever used his pencil sharpener, the further violated principle of boundaries caused his right eyelid to twitch involuntarily.

"I'm going to say this once. I have way, way too much on my plate right now to deal with whatever this is. You should get out before I find something to really get mad about," he said coldly, "If not, I can and will throw you out."

Cam blinked, reached into a pouch on his belt, and pulled out a small canister of some sort.

"You should really look into getting a bigger plate then, or lowering down on your portion size. Turns out, I'm not going anywhere! Won't that be fun?"

"Wrong answer," he said, voice deepening as Bruce and his monstrous bulk took the reins.

"You should probably do what he said, bro."

Cam blinked.

"No WONDER your taste in shirts is horrible; probably restricted by the selection available in unstable molecule clothing. I've theorized that applying a liquid polymer at the atomic level might make clothing stretchier in cases of sudden mass reallocations, but haven't had a chance to test it out yet -- at least, not at a scale that would be useful for anything in particular."

Bruce understood little of the response. "You," he said, picking up the chair with Cam in it and turning it towards the door before putting it down, "Out."

"No, me Cam. Me human. You shark boy."

Cam stood up, and aggressively sat down on the other, hereunto unclaimed bed in the room.

So the big galoot grabbed Cam, aiming to sling the annoyance over his shoulder and toss him into the hall.

Cam popped the top off his canister, and attempted to spray it in Bruce's face!

Well, that is, he succeeded in spraying it in Bruce's face. Unlike mace, though, this was kind of cool, refreshing and minty, rather than eye-burningly painful.

Bruce shook his head and sneezed, inadvertently spitting a small arc of electricity to frizzle Cam's hair.

"Hey what was... that... kinda... sleepy..." he yawned. "But first," he added, proceeding as planned.

"Gah!" Cam said, bouncing out into the hall as the giant sharkman threw him. "I must say, the bellhops at this hotel are the worst I've ever seen. Honestly!" he said, kicking his feet at a nearby door.

Bruce slammed the door a bit too hard, cracking the frame.

__________________________________________


The next morning, Tosh would find his half of the room nearly wall-papered in copies of Cam's Xaviers University paperwork.

And most of his clothes missing from his wardrobe, replaced with a bellhop uniform and little hat. Well, TWO bellhop uniforms and little hats -- one seemed to be Bruce sized.