[Drama] Back on the Couch

[Leo Eskandari]

Leo arrived for his first appointment since getting his animal side more or less in line and knocked on Professor Terrance's door. Once let in, he gave her a sheepish look.

"I know, I know, I shouldn't have stopped coming like that."

[Melissa Terrance]

"Probably not, but I certainly can't force you to attend... well, not without direction from the Headmistress or the Med Center at any rate," she says, gesturing to the seat on the other side of her desk. "I take it things have been going well?"

[Leo Eskandari]

He carefully took a seat before answering, "Well, I'm havin' a better time with managin' my instincts, I reconnected with my aunt, realized I'm gay which was scary at first but ultimately very liberatin', and I'm in a new relationship. He makes me happy enough that I almost forgot about my baggage for a little while."

[Melissa Terrance]

"But something's reminded you of it?" She gestures and the door shuts.

[Leo Eskandari]

"I almost let my self-doubt stop me from helpin' someone, and my boyfriend pointed out to me that I've been unfairly treatin' him like my therapist this whole time."

[Melissa Terrance]

"Friends can be helpful for maintaining, but there *are* things they aren't equipped to deal with."

[Leo Eskandari]

"Which is why I'm glad he told me. I really don't want to screw this up."

If she was monitoring his emotions on even a non-intrusive level, she'd get the feeling that he felt he was inevitably going to.

[Melissa Terrance]

"What makes you think you'll screw this up?" She asks casually, taking out a notepad and making some notes.

[Leo Eskandari]

"Because," he said, sighing, "Because everyone I care about leaves me sooner or later."

[Melissa Terrance]

"And you tell yourself that you're the reason they left." It might have been a question or just a statement.

[Leo Eskandari]

"Well I am the common thread, aren't I?" he answered sadly, "My dad left, my mom died, I had to move to England, my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend and then they both turned their backs on me when they learned I was a mutant, and the only family I had left kicked me out. How can I not think there's something wrong with me? That I'm just not good enough?"

[Melissa Terrance]

"One of our great abilities as people is to make patterns where none exist. Let's talk about your mother. What was she like?"

[Leo Eskandari]

"She was amazin'. More than I ever appreciated at the time. She had this warmth and passion for life and the world around her that never seemed to dim, or at least she never let me see her down. I'm ashamed that part of me resented how upbeat she always was, especially about dad. She always believed he'd come back and I grew up hating him. It was what we fought about the most."

"It... was the last thing we talked about."

[Melissa Terrance]

"How old were you when he left?"

[Leo Eskandari]

"I was five. Not sure if it's a memory or just my mom's retellin of it, but he said he had somethin important to do and would come back when he was able. It wasn't until recently that I even thought about tryin to find out if he was bein honest. I always just assumed that was his version of 'goin out for a pack of smokes'."

[Melissa Terrance]

"It can be rough to not understand why others do the things they do and blaming yourself is easy to do, especially for someone that young."

[Leo Eskandari]

"Is it even possible to get past somethin like that?"

[Melissa Terrance]

"It is possible, though it can take time and you have to give yourself permission to start moving past it."

[Leo Eskandari]

"Maybe I should try to find out where he went and if he really meant to come back. I might not like what I find, but at least I'd have some closure. I'm just... I'm afraid I'll find that he really didn't want me."

[Melissa Terrance]

"If you think you're up for it, I can put in a request to the Headmistress for some preliminary information. My door is always open if you feel you need to discuss what you find."

[Leo Eskandari]

"I think it's time to start feelin like I'm worth somethin," he answered with a nod.

[Melissa Terrance]

She makes some more notes. "Sometimes, becoming aware of your worth is about finding the right people to be around. And given what I've seen since you've been at the school, I would say, as an outside observer, that you seem to have found the right people."

[Leo Eskandari]

He smiled, "Havin someone who believes in me like Ainsley does... it really makes me feel like I can learn to do the same."

[Melissa Terrance]

"It seems like a good turn for you. Support networks can be important for recovery."

[Leo Eskandari]

"I know it's my issues talkin, but I worry that if I make the slightest misstep it'll all slip through my fingers."

[Melissa Terrance]

Melissa ponders for a moment, "I'm going to suggest a reinforcement exercise. Until our next session, I'd like for you to keep some notes. Doesn't matter how, on paper, electronically, whatever. You can even e-mail messages to me if you'd like, but on every possible day, I want you to write down something good that happened that day. I don't care how small it is, I don't care if it's something good that's happened before. At least one thing each day, but you can write more if you feel like it."

[Leo Eskandari]

"That sounds easy enough," he answered with a nod.

"Be prepared to read a lot about my boyfriend," he joked.

[Melissa Terrance]

"If that's what sticks out to you," she smiles, "then write about it."

[Leo Eskandari]

"He's the absolute best thing to happen to me in a very long time," he grinned.

"I had just about given up on the idea of love when we started spendin time together."