Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else.

[Basil Benson]

There was a delayed response before the PA squelched again.
"M-Madame Rosenhof!?'

[Samantha McManus]

"Aye, you saw it. He's been leading her down the primrose path to a life of delinquency and antisocial behavior!" She says emphatically, gesturing at the Bohemian.

"If only there were someone here to show her there's a better way!"

[Basil Benson]

The voice was silent for some time before speaking again.

"Valiant effort disembodied voice I don't recognize, but we all know she's got him wrapped around her little finger. The madame wouldn't let him sneeze sideways if it displeased her." he replied in the same disenchanted tone he had been previously.

[Colette Rosenhof]

"Why does you refuse to be seen? Is zere mustard on your uniform? You do have a uniform, do you not? Ze British look so striking in zem."

[Basil Benson]

"Should I get a uniform?" The Bohemian asked, pulling at his own jacket lapel self consciously.


"I apologize for my absence Madame. I am extremely busy trying to find a way to rid myself of an infestation that appears to be getting worse by the moment." Apparently appealing to the ego of this one wasn't going to work.

[Samantha McManus]

"Would it be possible to know where this infestation has gotten into?"

[Basil Benson]

"What an excellent question.

Tell me intruders, where have you tarried?" asked the Bailey in a cold tone.

The Bohemian may have be dumb, but he was friendly. This one seemed to have a better grasp of what was going on right now, and was none-too-pleased about it.

[Colette Rosenhof]

"Well to be fair..." Colette thought for a moment. "How is it zat ze Americans say? You were... a shit job, you were doing zat. So now we are here to do it better."

[Basil Benson]

That seemed to get a bit of a reaction out of him.

"Yes, I suppose compared to your current company, I am rather shit at forcing myself into places I shouldn't be and generally wreaking havoc upon it."

And then, in turn, the Bohemian.

"Oi! I keep tellin' you! You're the intruder! I was here first!" He replied, sounding much more frazzled and upset by the situation than the voice on the PA.

[Samantha McManus]

"Alright, let's clarify here. This fellow," she gestures to the Bohemian, "took a header and can't wake up now. Where were you when that happened?"

[Basil Benson]

"Waiting on him to 'take a header' elsewhere. " He stated. "He's not the best with his liqour you know, not without someone to moderate him. All I had to do was get him near the combination of alcohol and attractive women and let him do all the work for me.

Admittedly, I was slightly surprised when I went down as well, but I'm awake enough now."

His tone now was rather self satisfied, obviously pleased with his own craftiness.

[Samantha McManus]

"I suppose that's why you're addressing us via loudspeaker rather than in person? Rather daring of you."

[Basil Benson]

"Indeed." He replied, taking the compliment. "Further, still, I don't know why you are here or who you are or what the bloody idiot may have done to get you here, So why would I expose myself now to outsiders like that daft buffoon?"

This also set him off.

"Pretty fucking rich comin' from you!"

"You break in, I build a wall. I build a wall, you put a door in the wall. You built a door, I put a lock on it...

A lock that seems to have failed for some reason. I wonder who might have caused that?

Your argument is looking weaker and weaker by the moment."

[Colette Rosenhof]

Colette rubbed the equivalent of her temples with one hand. "Zut, you are becoming more insufferable zan zis one."

She looked up at the loudspeaker. "So, zis is your solution? You shut down everyzing and leave Basil in a comatose state? Oh yes, he will be a good boy, lying still not moving a muscle. He never has to act, never has to zink, never has to experience ze world around him. Never again will he experience happiness, or grow as a person, or learn to deal wiz ze lot zat life has dealt to him. But he will be safe and sound cooped up in his little bed. His mozer will be so happy zat her son has become such an obedient little object to be placed in ze cupboard so zat ze neighbours will not see him.

"You have done such a good job, it is no wonder you are such a self-satisfied and smug little prick. I am beginning to wonder what I ever saw in you."

[Basil Benson]

"Did I say this was a permanent solution? I don't remember stating that.

Point of order, that...thing that you're running around with is a complete dictator. First, he put me away in some kind of torture closet. Then he let me out when what can best be described as a dragon-lady tricked his moronic, hormone driven self which caused him to realize he's absolute garbage at steering the boat on his own. If he hadn't allowed me to intervene, Chase and I might be dead. Or at least I would be, and then your 'pal' wouldn't have anyone to puppet around anymore.

It took a lot of careful planning to get out from under his thumb, and I'm not about to go back to that again just because he's found himself some recruits to shove me back into his murder cupboard."

He didn't sound very happy now, what little self assurance he had with himself dashed. Unlike the Bohemian, he didn't seem to be getting worked up or yelling, just collectedly irritated. Which might not be better, considering.

"And since we're putting our personal business out there love, what you see in me is that I'm not him. Randy puppy-dog boys come a dime a dozen. You wouldn't have to loiter around the Union Building long to find one of those, if that's what you've decided you want. But that isn't want you want, is it?

Face the facts Madame. You don't just like me, you love me. Because while I may be a 'smug little prick', I'm the only thing keeping the actual one in check. If I let him have his way, he'd have been riding your leg within an hour of seeing you. I suspect the only reason he isn't now is neither of us are much for that sort of an audience.

And Lord only knows what he'd do when you weren't around if I wasn't either."

The PA cut out for a moment, perhaps to allow the Bailey to collect himself, then squelched back in for one final statement.

"Please excuse me, I need to get back to reading. I have to find a solution to my problem before you all find me, as I suspect that must be what you're doing now."

And then there was silence again.

[Colette Rosenhof]

Colette's fists were clenched in frustration as she listened to every word, her glittery stars swirling violently and compacting into an orb before exploding into the big bang.

"nnaaAUGH! Putain! Merde! Quel salaud! J'en ai ral le cul! I hate zis telepazic mental brick-a-brack bullshit!" Her heels clacked on the cobblestones as she stomped in circles, absolutely fuming.

It was funny to hear her squeaky voice say "bullshit" with a French accent. Now wouldn't have been a good time to tell her that.

"Oooh, when I get my hands on him! Imagine, ze nerve...."

[Samantha McManus]

"Alright, alright, let's think this out. He's awful without the other one," she gestures to the Bohemian.

"And the other one is a right prick without him."

"But they're kind of... awful in different directions? So maybe put together they form a decent person."

[Basil Benson]

The Bohemian had his finger in one ear, cleaning it out with a violent shake almost the entire time the Bailey was speaking. When he went to wipe it on his vest, he jumped at Colette's foul language, but then started smirking.

He was now lingering about Colette with a very unusual look on his face.
"Madame Rosenhof! vous petite allumeuse..." He interjected after Sam, as if trying to make her point for her.

[Colette Rosenhof]

Colette raised a finger in a "don't start with me" manner, her lack of facial features unable to properly express her annoyance.

"So we need to get zese two togezer. Zey are ze ying and ze yang or whatever one calls it."

[Basil Benson]

The Bohemian pouted playfully, but did as he was bade and remained in standby for Colette's orders with a congenial and complacent attitude.

[Colette Rosenhof]

Colette thought about this for a moment. "... If he will not come to us, zen we will have to pay him a visit. He is in ze police station, is he not?"

[Samantha McManus]

"I don't think he'll be moving. He's in a safe place where he thinks he has control."

[Basil Benson]

Out of a personal need to be helpful, the Bohemian piped up. "Beggin' your pardons mums, but there is no police station here. All of the windbag's ordinances and decrees are issued through a gold box he's got on his belt which feeds into the sound system directly. I guess so's he can chastise me from wherever he likes."

[Colette Rosenhof]

"Oh, well zen, how do we find zis constable?"

[Samantha McManus]

"I honestly doubt he could be anywhere. He's too orderly for that."

[Basil Benson]

"Well.... I could send out the ladies, If you like. But if he sees one of 'em it might clue him in we're close behind 'em."

[Colette Rosenhof]

"What ladies? You mean us?"

[Basil Benson]

"No madame, mine." He answered, acting like somehow that was more specific.

[Samantha McManus]

"If that's more direct than cutting off the speakers until he has to venture out..."

[Basil Benson]

"It would definitely be more proactive. He obviously thinks the greater good is spent doing whatever research he is doing, meaning that he probably wouldn't be deterred to stop simply because he couldn't gripe at me anymore.

However, we'd have to babysit them. They're not exactly brain surgeons and really aren't designed to wander about on their own, which means even if they did find him they may not think to report back immediately."

[Colette Rosenhof]

"It sounds better zan ze alternative. Unless anyone has any better ideas."

[Haley Crusek]

"No better ideas here, she grumbled.

[Basil Benson]

Basil looked at the assembled group for a moment before coming to the assumption the three had made their decision.

"Alright then, follow after me."

The Bohemian began to lead them away from the open streets into the back alleys. He walked along ahead of them, keeping a bit of a distance between himself and his visitors and began to sing in his relaxed, falsetto register.

"T'was in a Paris cafe at first I found him,
He was a Frenchmen, a hero of the war
But war was over and here's how peace had crowned him,
A few cheap medals to wear, and nothing more.

Now every night in the same cafe he shows up,
And as he strolls by the ladies hear him say,
If you admire me, hire me
A gigolo who knew a better day."

The rest of the song would be more than familiar to all three of the women accompanying him.

His voice was drawing out female figures, slowly filtering from behind doors and windows, onto fire escapes and balconies, and out of shadows. First just a few, but by the end there was close to twenty of them assembled. All of them wore gold, and while a few of them did wear some rather tight clothing, nothing head to toe like what Colette got stuck in. Like The Bohemian and Colette (and accidentally Haley), they matched the scenery around them and were done up in corsets, full skirts, gauzy tops, striped stockings, silk shawls etc etc etc. Basil obviously had a visual aesthetic that appealed to him (but wasn't entirely historically accurate).

Upon closer inspection, almost all of them were recognizable which would lead the trio to the assumption that even if they didn't know the remaining ladies, they were probably someone famous. Chase would have recognized all of them, but for a very different sort of reason...

Some did them the courtesy of moving around the trio, but others simply passed through them like phantoms on their way to their target. A selective few's gaze passed over Colette with a sense of recognition, but ultimately their attention would be drawn to their initial goal.

"Ah! There y'are my lovelies." He greeted them as they in turn moved to greet him in perhaps a little too friendly a fashion. All of them greeted him by name, a litany of excited feminine voices repeating the word 'Basil' over and over. The ones closest to him were pawing at him and he giggled sheepishly and nuzzled one of them back.

If the telepaths tried to analyze them, they'd come to the conclusion they weren't 'real', and didn't carry the 'weight' that the four assembled beings did.

[Colette Rosenhof]

"The Basil should be wearing a toga for this, and a chaplet of golden oak leaves."

Someone sounded a little bitter. But only a little.

[Haley Crusek]

Haley looked around and then down at herself, in all her steampunk cowgirl glory, finally taking notice of what exactly she looked like here in the mind. "Huh...guess my getup sort of fits with the theme here..."

[Samantha McManus]

"Nobody told me this was going to be a bloody musical."

[Basil Benson]

Of the three observations, the only one he seemed to register was Colette's.

"I told you I get lonely sometimes." He replied, pouting as if he'd been admonished unfairly for something and was seriously taking it to heart.

His pout was cut short by another burrowing her face into his hair who was just about ready to start cleaning his ear out for him with her tongue when he gently pressed her and the others away with a nervous chuckle.

"Ah, no no ladies. Not right now. We're going to do something else right now."

This clearly confused the women as they gawked at one another as if trying to determine if Basil had been dropped on his head or something. They had never done anything else before.

The Bohemian shifted, trying to figure out how to get his figments to understand the concept of what they were about to do. "Let's play a game!" He announced. This caused the group of women to snap their attention to him and wait quietly and eagerly for his orders.

"Somewhere in the city is the Bailey, and we need you to find him."

"Basil?" One of them pipes up in question.

"Yes dear, Basil."

"Basil." it replied back, pointing right at him and giving him a stink eye that clearly is meant to say 'you're going mental'.

"No ladies. Not me. The other one that looks like me, 'cept he isn't me, he's just pretending to be me to wind me up for reasons I ain't figured out just yet.

Half of you will escort the Madame and Texas Ranger, and the others will go with Firelocks and I. If you find him, you'll need to report to the Madame or myself, otherwise you don't win, and that's no good at all is it?"

They seemed to understand, and started dividing themselves into two groups. Basil addressed his visitors again.

"Whether they report back or not I'll probably know when they find him, but just to be safe." He explained, then jaunted over to Samantha.

"Shall we?"

[Haley Crusek]

Haley looked to Sam a bit nervously. This mindscape shit was not her forte and she was a bit concerned going alone.

"Alright...splitting up. Good. We can do more damage that way."

[Samantha McManus]

"Just don't try anything funny, alright?" She says, eyeing the Bohemian.

[Colette Rosenhof]

Well, at least he has good taste. Colette thought to herself. Still, while they were little more than fluff she trusted in these figments to get the job done. Who better to explore the nooks and crannies of the man's mind than the native creatures? She adjusted her skirt and followed behind Haley.