Chewing the Fat

[Will Stanton]

Will the Snitch had escaped from everyone else -- only the Jezes had even considered following him, and they had apparently given up the chase rather early on. He was flitting by through the woods, when, suddenly, he was grabbed by a familiar hand.

[Null]

"There you are, you little bastard," the boy said, snatching Will out of the air.

"Now, why don't YOU tell me what those guys did to you? They weren't exactly forthcoming to me."

[Will Stanton]

"You! You caught me! You win the prize!" the Will-snitch beamed.

[Null]

"Uh-huh. Whoopee for me. C'mon, tell me what happened. Did they drug you? Fill you with alcohol? Alter your brain patterns, such as they are?" he asked, giving Will a squeeze. "Talk."

[Will Stanton]

"Um...

No, nothing like that. They kind of did some cold reading, I guess? Talked about me, and about YOU, and about how we're going home, and all the stuff that happened since we arrived. Nothing too major or impressive, I guess?

And then I started feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, like everything was going to be alright. You know, like I felt when we found out, for sure, we're going home."

[Null]

"Izzat so? Then how come you're doing this?" the boy asked, squeezing Will once more until he threatened to burst. "You don't shift randomly like this in front of people. You're too embarrassed to do so without express permission. You certainly wouldn't suggest the idea out of the blue."

[Will Stanton]

"People might think I'm weird!" Will protested. "I don't want that. I want to be helpful and do what they want!"

[Null]

"Yeah, yeah, sing us something else; you're a broken record, gramps. Now, explain to me, given all that, why you thought it would be a good idea to shift into part of one of their games without their express consent, huh?"

[Will Stanton]

"Uh..." Will wavered. "I don't...that is to say...

I don't know why, it just felt...right?" he said, perturbed. "It shouldn't have felt right, though, should it?"

[Null]

"No, it shouldn't have. See, this is why you need my protection; I"m the only one who really gets you.

We need to figure out in what way they changed you, right? You game?"

[Will Stanton]

"Um...I mean, if we need to find out? I guess we could find out? What did you have in miYIPES!" Will said, as the boy closed his fist and squeezed.

[Null]

The boy clenched his fist, cracking the ping-pong ball with a moderate 'pop!'

When he opened his fist, he looked down at the pinkish cube he had left in his hand. "I mean, at least one of us is going to enjoy this," he frowned.

He then popped the cube of gum into his mouth and starting chewing, looking off into the distance thoughtfully.

[Null]

"Spearmint," the boy said, after a moment's thought. "With microcrystalline wax and no paraffin. Maybe some talc? That's not you. They really did do a number on you, didn't they?" he said, rolling the gum around his mouth.

He blew a bubble, on which the faint outline of Will's face could be seen. It popped with an audible "Ah!"

"Yeah, definitely spearmint. They've been messing with your head somehow," the boy said. "'Cause this ain't natural you," he added, sitting down and chewing thoughtfully, blowing the occasional bubble.

[Null]

A few minutes passed, and Null sat back on the stump, looking up at the stars.

"Stars are pretty tonight. Almost the same as back home.

Chew chew chew.

"Y'know, I'm still trying to figure out what they did to you, but it's not all bad."

Chew chew chew, blow bubble, pop, chew, chew, chew.

"Maybe there was some, y'know, Mary Jane in the mix, because you're kinda mellowing me out at the moment. Though you'd probably smell more skunky then; that doesn't feel right."

Chew chew chew.

"It's just sort of, you know. Relaxing. Mind-altering? Probably the spearmint."

Chew chew chew.

Swallow.


"...Oops."

[Null]

A few minutes of impatient waiting later, Null took off his shirt.

"C'mon, dude, hurry the fuck up," he said, checking around.

He twisted his neck around unnaturally, and frowned.

"Really, man? There?"


On his lower back was a tattoo of Will, looking a little dazed, with a goofy grin on his face.

"I did NOT need a tramp stamp."

[Will Stanton]

"I like being close to people," the tattoo shrugged. "The mysterious guy says I should just be happy about things!"

[Null]

"Yeah, I'm not your wolf friends. Get 'Reza to design something better for you, and get off my ass. Literally.

This is embarrassing for both of us."

[Will Stanton]

"Hah! Em-bare-ass-ing!" the tattoo giggled.

[Null]

"I am going to mail you to Spain."

[Will Stanton]

"Make sure it's first class. And one of those nice padded envelopes, not a plain one. I bruise."

[Null]

The Boy shook his head.

"Ugh. If you want to tag alone, fine. Let's blow this party; it's boring anyway," he said, heading back towards his dorm room.