To Find What I've Been Longing For

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 12:19 am

"Why'd you have to be asleep when I have to undo bolts, huh?" Tereza grumbles, hauling on a wrench on some stubborn part in the car. After a moment, she tosses the wrench onto a workbench with a loud clatter and running a dirty hand through her hair as she paces in the garage.

((Open))

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 12:41 am

"Hello?" asked Leo as the big mutant peered into the garage, his mane a bright ruby flame in the morning light.

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 12:46 am

Tereza looks over, "Huh? Oh, hey, Leo." Her body posture seems like that of an agitated animal, but she's not exuding the predator vibes like she was back at Muir.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 12:56 am

"Want some help?" he asked, "I've worked on a car before and, well, I'm strong."

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 1:03 am

"I could use it. The spark plugs are misfiring, so I have to take the head off and make some adjustments and see if they're even working right."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 1:19 am

"Can do," he said, grabbing the wrench as he made his way over. Before getting to work, he paused in front of the open hood. "I keep forgetting I got bigger. Everything is so little and fragile looking now."

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 1:23 am

"Adjusting to shit can be hard," she says, leaning in and pointing at the bolt she was having trouble with. "Even harder when your shit moves on you."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 1:32 am

"Mastering one body is bad enough," he agreed. He leaned in and turned the bolt with little visible effort. "Holy shit, that was never that easy before."

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 1:39 am

"It has its moments," she says with a half-smile.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 3:27 pm

"Being a werewolf? I'd be terrified of losing myself."

"Hell, I already am."

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 4:27 pm

"I won't say it's not scary. But once you learn to listen to them, talk to them, realize they're not *not* you, they just prioritize things differently, it gets easier... most times."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 4:35 pm

"Talk to them?" he asked.

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 4:42 pm

"I've heard it varies for people, so I can only say how it works for me, but my wolf and I have conversations. She's... me, but she prioritizes survival, protecting those close to her, and... other things," she says, maybe just a bit tartly.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 5:00 pm

"I feel like I have two things in my head. Though I can't tell where what they want ends and what I want begins."

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 5:33 pm

"There's a bit of that," she acknowledges, pulling some of the parts and looking at them closely. "But one of the important things to remember is that they're you. As someone told me, if you treat them like animals or like something you're afraid of, that's how they'll behave. I'm not saying give into them, mind you. Fuck, if I did that, some people wouldn't still exist," she says with a chuckle.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 7:48 pm

"But I am... afraid," he admitted, "And the animal in me knows it."

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 8:09 pm

"And they push you because of it," she guesses.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 8:23 pm

"Yeah. That became clear when Sam showed me the woods and I got pretty beastly. One, I think of it as The Lion, wants to hunt and find a... a pride, I guess? The other, The Scorpion, encourages my... pre-existing tendency to push people away. It wants me to be alone so it's free to strike anyone it wants."

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 8:31 pm

Tereza nods, peering at a spark plug before tossing it into the trash. "Sounds like a tough combo to wrestle with, getting pulled in opposite directions like that. Been dealing with that a bit myself lately or, at least, having to pull against what she wants."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 8:39 pm

He went back to work. "And what does she want besides survival and pack instincts?"

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 8:41 pm

"It's complicated," she hedges, "She's... super into my girlfriend. See's her as some sort of rock or lighthouse or something, I guess?"

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 8:46 pm

"I think I can understand that. Sam definitely appealed to The Lion. She has... I dunno, a presence."

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 8:50 pm

"That's a way to put it," she say, prepping parts to go into the engine. "There's a certain magnetism there."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 8:58 pm

"That's an even better word for it. Attracts The Lion but repels The Scorpion."

He sighed regretfully, "I was kinda a jerk to her before our talk was over. "

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 11:05 pm

"That might explain a few things about her mood."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 11:15 pm

"I'm not ready for friends yet, and I didn't handle it well."

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 11:17 pm

"Friends can be... complicated around here sometimes."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 11:22 pm

"Or anywhere really. For me at least, and I haven't always had the best luck choosing the right friends."

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 11:42 pm

"Yeah, been there. Friends of convenience. I had a few of those for a while. Last year they tried to sell me back to Russia."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 11:51 pm

Leo gave her a somewhat shocked look. "Okay, that's leagues worse than anything my so-called friends put me through."

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Fri Jan 17, 2020 11:56 pm

"None of them were from here. They were just people from my past," she says, "There are a lot of good people here. They rescued me."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sat Jan 18, 2020 12:08 am

"Me too. It's just... hard to let go of the distrust, y'know?"

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Sat Jan 18, 2020 12:10 am

"Yeah, it is, but I spent a lot of my previous time at Muir learning how to do that. And even then, I still don't always succeed."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sat Jan 18, 2020 12:17 am

"Then I have some hope at least, assuming I can tame The Scorpion," he said with actual hope in his voice.

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Sat Jan 18, 2020 1:07 am

"You made it this far, you can tame him."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sat Jan 18, 2020 1:43 am

"So... I just have to remember he's not some devil on my shoulder?"

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Sat Jan 18, 2020 1:56 am

"Treat him like the devil, he will be the devil. Learn to listen to him when it makes sense to."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sat Jan 18, 2020 2:09 am

"And maybe try not thinking of them as different things?"

by **Tereza Rozanov** » Sat Jan 18, 2020 2:35 am

"Yeah, just another facet of you, even if you aren't always pleased with how that facet behaves, you still have to... own it. That can be hard."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Sat Jan 18, 2020 3:28 pm

"What happens if I can't? I... hate being like this and I don't know if I'll ever be able to accept this body, so how can I accept the animal within?"

[Drama] To Find What I've Been Longing For

[Drama] To Find What I've Been Longing For

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