Xaviers!

"The ideal number of people who know a secret is zero. But don't worry, if you help, I'm sure we can find something else for you. I'm sure I've got a spare tower or dungeon to throw you into."

She kept that one straight-faced for a bit too long, but then broke into a few giggles.

"No, no, no. I am making the joke. It is just a bit stressful, that is all."

"Hmm, maybe we should get some liquor into you too."

"Or some time in the sauna."

"Yeah, because jokes like that can lead to the recreation of the Ides of March."

"Which I could do single-handedly. Sort of."

"I think that if you made enough of you to do an Ides of March, you'd be too brain-scattered to pull it off," she said, smiling wearily up at the Jezzi.

"I'd best hold off on any liquor. I'll need to be on my toes tonight at dinner," she sighed. "I was looking forward to spending some time with you, but I suppose duty calls.

You did very well, by the way. You're a natural."

"Well, why not just have the dinner, and tell him that you're not going to go off and do whatever it is that he wants to do because you've got classes and stuff?"

The Jez whose hand wasn't being touched sat down on the arm of the chair, just to try to be a little bit closer and more reassuring. "We've got loads of time to do stuff together, one night isn't going to be that bad. Unless you wanna invite me along to make things awkward."

She shook her head at the compliment though. "Thanks, but I just did what I saw maids do in anime. Don't speak unless spoken to, eyes down, all that stuff."

"Oh, I plan to. And I will tell him that I do not want people to know that I am here, and for him not to tell anyone that he found me, and he will agree," she nodded.

"And then he'll tell his best friend, Lord Kovalchuk -- in private confidence, of course. And then Lord Kovalchuk will brag that he has a secret to Lady Popov, and goodness knows the Popevs have very good operational security and a long-tenured sense of paranoia," she said, ticking things off on her fingers. "And if Lady Popev finds out, she will of course tell Annika Smirnova, and if you ever wanted to let the entire world know something, you tell it to Annika Smirnova in confidence."

"My little hidey-hole in the west is not going to stay hidden much longer, podmukla guska. I suppose I was naive to believe it would," she sighed. "Ah well."

She thought for a moment more. "I do not think you coming along tonight would be very wise...but I would very much like your help in the future, dealing with these sorts of peoples. As support, if nothing else."

"It would be... immoral to ask a student to alter his memories, wouldn't it...." Jez mused softly, actually sounding convinced of that rather than suggesting it.

While one mused, the other tried to give a reassuring smile. "Of course, Stroopwafel." What a horrible nickname. "I've started training with Nika again, so that I can be there for you in body and in spirit."

"Yes, I'm afraid it would. But that doesn't mean we have to put all of our cards on the table, so to speak," she said to the one Jez.

"There are many events and things where I could not take a friend from college. It would not be appopriate. But I could take Nika to some of those places; she is, after all, part of my entourage, and few would deny the princess the perks of her position.

Of course, sadly, Nika is not used to providing all the services of the royal household," she sighed, dramatically. "She tries her best, of course, but she is just one woman, after all, and not trained for this sort of thing. So, naturally, I had to expand my retinue -- and with someone local, who understood the ins-and-outs of England such as people back home understand Symkaria. So, as the Prince wisely figured out, I had to find a new... a new..." she said, trailing off, looking Jez up and down.

"... tour guide?" One Jez asked.

"I think the word she's looking for is 'liaison'."

"Oooh, right! Though we're not FROM England, I guess we know enough about the basics, and how to find out more precise info."

"That, and she'd have someone who knew about how America AND Genosha works as well."

"Well that's like a three-for-one deal right there."

"We can definitely do better than three for one, but it's a start."

It was like a muppet act, the way they talked to each other as though they weren't sharing the same mind. But it was good practice.

"Hmm," she smiled, tapping her lips. "Liaison, is it? Yes, that's probably a better use of your talents than as a Lady's Maid, or even a Maid-of-Honor. And you're not highly born, so there would be odd looks if I made you a Lady's Companion.

Are you sure you wouldn't prefer to be a Woman of the Bedchamber, instead?"

"I am VERY good at multitasking." Jez said confidently, and maybe with a hint of innuendo.

"Does the position come with a uniform?"

"I believe that can be arranged. For formal occasions," she smiled.

"Traditionally, the femme de Chambre attends the royal person. You know -- helping them get into the ridiculous clothing that the court sometimes requires; helping them get out of the ridiculous clothing that the court sometimes requires, preparing their outfits and cosmetics, bathing, etcetera. And, in my case, making sure I shine nicely when I go out in my golden form, and to care for any scuffs or damages I may receive.

There are higher ranking positions that also, technically, do that, but they're just ceremonial, and reserved for members of the various royal families. And, if I am honest, they tend to have...how do you say...the sticks up their butts," she said, wrinkling her nose a bit.

"So yes, I believe I can find you a uniform. Though normally, you would be required to look appropriate for whatever we attend together. Unlike a chambermaid, you would have regular access to the royal person -- and the other families would know that. You said you did the whole 'speak not unless spoken to' thing, and you're not entirely wrong...but you would, officially, have the Princess' ear. The others would know that if they wanted to have an audience with me, or to send a message to me, that going through you would be a convenient way -- and that, if they got on your bad side, you might well 'forget' to tell me that someone requested a meeting," she said, her eyes twinkling. "And heaven help the Prince that scorns the Princess' confidante."

"Ooh, this is rather devious! I'm going to have to really study up on my nobility hierarchy and such if we do this."

"Would me going home for the summer be... suspicious? Would that throw a wrench in this plan?"

"Go home? For the summer?"

Katarina paused. This was apparently something she had not considered. "Oh. I suppose that would make sense that you would want to do that..."

"Why, aren't you going to be going home as well?"

The other Jez mused a bit. "I mean, if I got some kind of opportunity that would grant me valuable experience toward my poli-sci studies, I guess my Dad would be okay with me staying the summer...."

"I just... oh, I am so selfish. I did not even consider that you might have plans that did not revolve around me.

I am not used to people going away, I suppose," she frowned. "I just sort of assume people around me will continue to be drawn in, like by gravity. I am sorry."

"I don't think it's selfish. Just a bit..." Jez struggled to think of a word to describe it that wouldn't come off as exciting. "You've lived your entire life in one kind of world, and now are learning that for other people, the world works differently. Does that make sense?"

'I do feel a strong gravitational pull though....'

"Oh, me too, I can't escape it."

Both Jez's took the opportunity to sit on Katarina's lap, side by side. Because she had left herself open to it.

Katarina gave out a slight oof as the pair of Jezii plopped down on her lap.

"I suppose you're right," she said, snaking one hand around each Jez's waist. "But, I believe I do like this world you are showing me.

That being said, go home if you want to -- but come back at some point. I would love to take you to our summer festivals, so you can see the kind of world that I am from. For if the cat is out of the bag, I might as well pet it, yes?"

"Oh, I hadn't even considered visiting Symkaria, that would make quite the amazing vacation."
"Yeah, imagine, with a princess as a tour guide!"
"It'd make for a good crash-course in Symkarian culture and history."
"And we'd be forgiven of our ignorance in certain matters, being ignorant foreigners and all."
"AND we'd get to see all of Katarina's favorite things about her home."
"AND we'd get to see Nika in her uniform."
"Oh does she have a uniform? Like a royal guard?"
"With some kind of chin-strap cap, and those shoulder things with the tassels, and that rope around the shoulder?"
"I think that's called a fourragere."
"How do you even know that?"

Okay, while it was good to be the princess and it meant having two women share your lap, there were definitely some drawbacks in dating Jezabelle. You know how they say it's okay to talk to yourself so long as you don't start answering yourself? Yeah.

"Am I necessary for this conversation?" Katarina joked, amused. "Or is the mutual admiration society in full force already?"

"Oh, I'm sorry your Highness, are we being disrespectful?" One asked, a hand on her chest as she looked shocked.
"Nooo, of course not. If her Highness wishes for us to attend to her wants, she knows how to signal us. She strikes the butt of her mace against the ground twice."
"Maybe she only desires one liaison? Go on now, shoo." The first Jez waved her hand in a dismissive gesture to the second.
"Is that true, my liege? Do you no longer desire my services?" The second Jez leaned closer to Katarina, feigning a quivering lip. Oh, she was having fun playing pretend.

Katarina raised an eyebrow for a moment, and then smiled a sly smile.

"Well, now. A true attendant knows to anticipate her lady's wants before they become necessary. I shan't want to be forced to summon you for every little thing needs doing," she said, haughtily. "Or it is not the butt of my mace that will be struck."

One Jez couldn't help but snort and giggle, hugging herself to Katarina's side. "You dork."

"Lady Dork," Katarina corrected with a smile. "Or Your Dorkness.

And if you repeat either of those in front of Prince Alex..."

The one not as cuddled up shook her head. "As much as we're joking and teasing, we know how important this is for you.We will be on our upmost best behavior when on duty. Eyes down, hands clasped, speak only when spoken to."

"We leave the cutting bards to our sovereign." Mumbled the cuddlebug one.

"And I should be doing some research. There's gotta be a book on proper servant etiquette in the library. We're in England for God's sake."

Katarina squeezed the cuddlebugger tightly.

"Don't hold your tongue too much, podmukla guska. Politeness is important, but at the end of the day, you are the one with the princesses' ear; with more access to her than any duke in the land. You may not have the blood of Symkaria flowing through your veins, but a sharp word, a pointed glance, a forgotten appointment can give you more power than a lady of the realm, and they know it.

That is, unless you want someone to have your tongue held. We can always play lady and maid to your heart's content; I have some experience in these matters, after all," she grinned.

"Welllllll, I meant holding my tongue in front of OTHERS, my liege. We don't want the others to think you're at the mercy of your servants, do we?"

"Oh, this is getting very, very blue. If we keep up all this innuendo you're not gonna be in any state to go out for supper."

"You should see some of the others. I'm not sure they would know how to tie their own shoes without the help of the help.

But you will do fine, when needed to -- and I will have my excuse for you to be around," she smiled. "But yes, I should probably get ready for a tedious night with Prince Alex."

"Well I applaud your efforts to be more independent than them. There are many who don't have that interest, royalty or not."

"Do you need help getting ready? This could be a crash course for us."

"I feel that a ruler should know something of what their subjects go through. And besides -- I have had more fun here and out of that stuffy palace than I have had in years."

Katarina extended two hands, letting the two Jezzes help her to her feet. "I do not need help getting ready today, but I would be glad to show you how all of these clothes work. See how the many of you work in a team," she smiled.

"That is very forward-thinking of you." One Jez complimented as both slipped off of Katarina's lap and took her hands, helping the redhead up to hang off of either elbow.

"I think we'd like that. So many buttons and laces, definitely a two-person job."
"Or more."

"Oh, with some of the fanciest formal wear, it could take as many as four or five people, working in harmony, to get everything properly arranged and bustled," Katarina nodded. "It is ever so practical."

"Well then, we've got our work cut out for us."
"Time to get you gussied up so you can break a heart."

"That sounds more like you're writing fanfic than reality," Katarina laughed, as the two walked off to get the princess pampered and prepped.