[Social] Ainsley's Lion

[Leo Eskandari]

He sighed, "I know. I don't want to scare people. Well, maybe some bad guy. I guess I'm just still... afraid to show too much weakness. Hard to unlearn that, y'know?"

[Ainsley Green]

"Not really." Ainsley replied, then realized how cold that sounded.

"That is, I don't know because no one has never expected me to be strong, really, because I'm small. So I don't really know. Sorry."

[Leo Eskandari]

"Well, between fight and flight, I usually choose fight. Especially when I was in Lambeth. And I wasn't big, so I had to project toughness to get the other guy to pick flight. That make sense?"

[Ainsley Green]

"Kind of? I don't know why you'd want me to pick flight though." Ainsley didn't seem offended, just vaguely confused. Not so much he seemed to want to turn it into a thing though, as he continued to work on his drawing while he spoke to Leo.

[Leo Eskandari]

"Not you specifically, just... damn it, I'm putting my confusin' baggage on you again," he with a frustrated sigh.

[Ainsley Green]

"I suspect that's going to continue to happen until you make it to the other side."

[Leo Eskandari]

"The other side?" he asked, looking at Ainsley.

[Ainsley Green]

"You know... the other side of the trauma."

[Leo Eskandari]

"It still feels like your doing the heavy liftin' in this friendship. You've done so much for me and what have I done for you? Nothin'."

[Ainsley Green]

"Compensation isn't what friendship's about Leo."

[Leo Eskandari]

"I know that. I just feel like I haven't done anything to deserve a friend like you."

[Ainsley Green]

"Again, people don't need to do things to be worthy of friends."

[Leo Eskandari]

"Then why can't I keep them? What am I doing wrong?"

[Ainsley Green]

"Is this about those two I ran into at the flats?" Ainsley asked, cutting to the chase in hopes of finding out what was bothering the other boy.

[Leo Eskandari]

Leo was silent for a long moment.

"I thought he was my best friend. I thought she loved me. But they were screwing each other behind my back. They didn't tell you that, did they?"

[Ainsley Green]

"Not specifically no, but I gathered as much." Ainsley replied, putting down his pencil and folding his arms across his chest to relax for a moment.

"What they did isn't an expression of you, it's an expression of them. Certainly you could psychoanalyze any excuses they gave you for a nugget of genuine truth, but they didn't seem to be providing any today, so unless there's more you're not saying, you're mining a stripped vein mate."

[Leo Eskandari]

"She told me I didn't really love her, that I was only with her because I thought I should be. What the hell does that even mean?" he asked, confused and angry about the memory.

[Ainsley Green]

"It means she felt you were using her to bring a sense of normalcy to your life.

Were you?" Ainsley asked.

[Leo Eskandari]

"No," he answered vehemently.

Then, less sure, he added, "Fuck, I don't even know anymore."

[Ainsley Green]

Ainsley said nothing, but he did nod his head to the side and arch a brow as if to say there you go then.

[Leo Eskandari]

"If I was, how can I know I'm not doing that again? Just clinging to the first person who cares enough?"

[Ainsley Green]

Ainsley arched his brows in unison, then his brows expanded from that into realization.


"Mate... Do you fancy me?"

[Leo Eskandari]

Leo's eyes widened, almost fearfully.

"What?! No! Gross! I meant as a friend!" he said with a telling tinge of confused feelings.

[Ainsley Green]

"Not The word I would have gone with but okay.'

[Leo Eskandari]

"Why would you even think that? Do I really give off that vibe?" he asked in protest, looking ready to get up and run away storm off.

[Ainsley Green]

"Calm down Leo. I only said it because you compared me to your girlfriend.

And I wouldn't have said anything if I was aware you were this phobic."

[Leo Eskandari]

"God damn it. I don't have a problem with gay people," he corrected as he stood, "I'm just not, okay?

[Ainsley Green]

" Okay." He replied, sounding calm enough.


Then after a moment he spoke again . "You usually call situations you don't have a problem with gross?"

[Leo Eskandari]

He exhaled in frustration, which morphed into a sigh.

"No."

[Ainsley Green]

Ainsley made that 'there ya go' face again, this time with his arms folded across his chest.

It was extra smug.

[Leo Eskandari]

"One more thing for me to work on," he said with self-loathing.