Clothes Make the Beast

by **Leo Eskandari** » Mon Oct 26, 2020 10:00 pm

"So their lack of bowel control extends to their mouths?"

by **Ainsley Green** » Mon Oct 26, 2020 10:19 pm

"If by that you mean that they're little arseholes then yes. Absolutely. Evolution could not on this earth come up with a higher evolved classification of tossers than birds.

They're the footballers of the animal kingdom. "

by **Leo Eskandari** » Mon Oct 26, 2020 11:02 pm

"Glad I didn't turn birdman then. I wouldn't like what that would've said about me."

by **Ainsley Green** » Mon Oct 26, 2020 11:16 pm

"You'd probably still be enough man not to peck another man's eyes out.

One would hope."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Mon Oct 26, 2020 11:26 pm

"Well, I'm enough man not to maul or sting anyone who pisses me off, so yeah. But I'm still glad, flight aside, not to be a bird. Hard Gonna be hard enough to kiss you without a beak gettin' in the way," he said, realizing just then how much he regretted not doing more of that while he had the chance.

by **Ainsley Green** » Tue Oct 27, 2020 12:06 am

"I mean....

You could have always thrown up on me I suppose." He quipped, making the moment awkward.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Tue Oct 27, 2020 12:19 am

"Wait, what?" he asked with a shudder of disgust.

by **Ainsley Green** » Tue Oct 27, 2020 12:23 am

"Right?

Birds love that shite though. Because they're fuckin' mental."

Ainsley really hated birds.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Tue Oct 27, 2020 12:37 am

"A bird shit on you as a kid, didn't it?" he smirked.

by **Ainsley Green** » Tue Oct 27, 2020 12:48 am

Ainsley looked a bit exasperated.

"I mean, yeah! That's what they do."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Tue Oct 27, 2020 1:06 am

"Hey now. I'm with you. Birds are gross little savages. No argument here. And I don't have to listen to them talk."

by **Ainsley Green** » Tue Oct 27, 2020 1:53 pm

"Oh they're just bloody mean. They're not gross in that department.

That's dogs."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Tue Oct 27, 2020 2:24 pm

"Dog humor is all poop jokes, isn't it?"

by **Ainsley Green** » Tue Oct 27, 2020 2:44 pm

"More then is necessary yes.

If birds are footballers, dogs are Shrek."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Tue Oct 27, 2020 3:14 pm

He chuckled and asked, "And cats?"

by **Ainsley Green** » Tue Oct 27, 2020 5:02 pm

"Fantasy story dragons, as previously stated.

They care a lot about how they are perceived by others, but in that haughty sort of way that makes it seem like they couldn't care less. They seem to have mixed feelings on exactly how they should be perceived. Majestic, charming, terrifying.... but whatever the qualifiers are for the cat personally, they all agree they should be worshiped for their attributes.

I also find that their response to the adoration they expect seems to be predicated by what they want to be worshiped for. Cats who like to be thought of as charming for example tend to be more affectionate. Cats who want to be seen as terrifying tend to be more aloof. Being a psychopathic murder-machine and a fluffy snuggle chum aren't synonymous to them.

All cats think they are equally as intelligent as humans. Some think they are smarter. Good cats find the humans cleverness intriguing in the same way we sometimes find their own. Bad cats find it insulting and borderline treasonous.

They can feel amused, but there's a certain level of patronizing in play with the amusement, even in good cats.

Cats can't laugh. If you ever hear a cat laughing, or suspect it might be, that cat is supernatural and you should run very quickly in the opposite direction. "

by **Leo Eskandari** » Tue Oct 27, 2020 6:57 pm

"They could be a shifter," he pointed out, "But better safe than eaten by an actual manticore."

"I really need to change my codename from what the doctor gave me, however appropriate it may be. The longer I keep it the more it feels like it lets him keep a little power over me."

by **Ainsley Green** » Wed Oct 28, 2020 3:13 pm

"What would you have named yourself, if you had chosen?"

by **Leo Eskandari** » Wed Oct 28, 2020 7:00 pm

"Still haven't come up with anythin' more accurate. To how I look anyway. And I never really thought about it before then. So I dunno. Maybe Chimera? Still kinda... villain soundin' though, isn't it?"

by **Ainsley Green** » Wed Oct 28, 2020 8:21 pm

"Anything hard ass is probably a bit villain sounding, honestly."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Wed Oct 28, 2020 9:10 pm

"Well we can't let the bad guys know I'm secretly a big teddy bear now can we?" he smirked.

by **Ainsley Green** » Wed Oct 28, 2020 9:54 pm

"A teddy bear is still a bear. it could still take your head off your shoulders."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Wed Oct 28, 2020 10:11 pm

"Somehow I think callin' myself Mister Fuzzy won't get me taken seriously."

by **Ainsley Green** » Wed Oct 28, 2020 10:51 pm

" Fuwfy Uwu." He offered, grinning.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Wed Oct 28, 2020 11:13 pm

"No. Just... no," he answered, quite cat-like in his expression of indignity, "I have to indulge my bad boy fantasy at least a little."

by **Ainsley Green** » Wed Oct 28, 2020 11:58 pm

"You going to get a motorcycle and a leather jacket?"

by **Leo Eskandari** » Thu Oct 29, 2020 12:11 am

He laughed. "You just made me picture myself with a pompadour. Like, an exaggerated anime one."

by **Ainsley Green** » Thu Oct 29, 2020 12:26 am

"Don't believe in yourself, believe in the me who believes in you!"

by **Leo Eskandari** » Thu Oct 29, 2020 12:41 am

"Okay, confession time. I haven't seen that much anime outside of Naruto."

by **Ainsley Green** » Thu Oct 29, 2020 12:49 am

".... You literally picked the worst only one.

We have to fix this. What sort of stories do you like?"

by **Leo Eskandari** » Thu Oct 29, 2020 12:56 am

"Action, horror... mysteries I guess, even if I suck at guessin' what's gonna happen."

by **Ainsley Green** » Thu Oct 29, 2020 1:01 am

"Attack On Titan it is then."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Thu Oct 29, 2020 1:19 am

"Oh! I've heard of that one. It's about giants or somethin' right?"

by **Ainsley Green** » Thu Oct 29, 2020 12:59 pm

"Mmm...kind of. You'll see.

Let's get some snacks and binge watch."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Thu Oct 29, 2020 7:39 pm

"So... no on the impromptu pub date?" he asked, unexpectedly relieve but trying not to show it. He wasn't nearly as good at hiding his true feelings as he liked to think.

by **Ainsley Green** » Thu Oct 29, 2020 7:44 pm

"You don't want an out?" He smirked back.

by **Leo Eskandari** » Thu Oct 29, 2020 7:49 pm

"I... well... I do. It's just... it should be special, shouldn't it? Not something I thought up on the spot."

by **Ainsley Green** » Thu Oct 29, 2020 8:14 pm

"Then let's go veg."

by **Leo Eskandari** » Thu Oct 29, 2020 8:54 pm

"it is what cats do best," he grinned.

[Relationship] Clothes Make the Beast

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