Xaviers!

Miriam is on her way to the small restaurant/pub in Maldon where she's agreed to 'have it out' with Sam. She'd considered just doing it in her dorm and tell Haley to bugger off for a while but that really didn't seem worth it. She could just ask her roommate but that leaves the possibility of her saying no. This was much simpler. Or so Miriam thought. She'd headed for the pub way ahead of time just so she'd have some time to sort her thoughts (and have some food) but that, as it turns out, was a mistake. She doesn't really want to be here and that colors her perception as her mind wanders, flitting across those of the other patrons without even really being consciously aware of it. Even those in better moods always have bad memories hiding in the crevasses of their minds and keeping all of it at bay is almost like holding her breath at times. She can hold it off for a while but eventually she has to relent and just let her mind unfold...

That time he broke up with his highschool-sweetheart. The moment she realized those awful muties were not going to stay in their little town. The loss of his grandparents. Money troubles. Suppressed sexuality. Deceptions. Without fail Miriam's power zeroes in on all the little failures and all the deep, dark thoughts. And she can't help but trace along them with her mental fingers. It's unsettling how strangely comforting the familiarity is, even if it's just relief from letting her shields down. That time she imagined taking the letter opener and just stabbing his boss. That moment when he got close to just taking the kids and walking out the door. That urge to teeter on the edge and just take the plunge. That nagging curiosity about just how it'd feel to just...

Everything swirls around her in an almost palpable cloud for her to wallow in and it's welcoming in it's rawness. No filters, no pretentiousness, no little lies to soothe oneself. She's well aware she's guilty of the same, but down here in this pit she's the only one with a torch to shine light on all the things hiding in the darkness. She'd only meant to give her mental shields some rest but it's so easy to just drift through this, knowing that when it comes down to it, she can close her fist around all of this, that she's in control. And that if she wanted to she could make it all go away. Make their lives better. Spare them the kind of weight she feels she carries around all the time. She's had all the lectures. Several times. Legal, philosophical, moral. Don't do it. It's wrong. Who gives you the right...



Entering the pub almost causes Sam emotional whiplash, so thick is the atmosphere of sorrow and misery inside. All the people inside are sitting or standing still, staring at nothing with glassy eyes, ephemeral pieces of fabric wrapped around their waist or leg or wrist on the astral plane, all merging together into the robes of Miriam's avatar, hovering over where she's sitting, distracted but conscious.

Sam frowns as she enters, making a bee-line for Miriam.

"What, did you get bored?"

Miriam is slow in realizing someone is talking to her, but when she recognizes Sam her eyes suddenly snap into focus, as do those of a couple of people around her for just a second before she hurriedly tries to untangle herself from their minds. She looks somewhere between guilty and embarrassed. "Sam. You're here early..." she says, apparently having lost her sense of time a bit.

"Not really. Are you alright?"

Miriam frowns ever so slightly, trying to dismiss more of the connections and rebuild her mental blocks, her avatar pulling in strands of fabric to wrap around the two human shapes underneath. "Yeah, I'm fine." she says very unconvincingly.

"What was that all about? It nearly knocked me on my arse when I got in," she says as she takes a seat.

"Nothing. Just... Nothing. Guess I did get bored." she mumbles as she inspects the remains of her now cold food, pushing the plate to the side. Meanwhile the rest of the patrons and staff slowly come out of their stupor, looking around confused and with a vague sense of unease, a couple of them leaving immediately, one even stumbles out without paying.

"It was just... pure misery pouring through them."

"From them. I just... brought it to the surface. I didn't mean to." she says. It's not a straight lie but it's not exactly the entire truth either.

"Well I didn't think you'd do that on purpose."

"Right..." she says, glancing around to see if anybody is looking their way.

"I just don't get how you could stand that."

"Everyone carries it around with them to some extent. I suppose you get used to being able to hear it. I thought Will was special because he didn't, but I guess he just locked it away. And I still managed to find it. I suppose that's just what I do."

"What, like you're some sort of sadness magnet?"

"Sure, why the bloody hell not."

"It's hard to separate what's you being down on yourself and what's literal, sometimes."

"Does it really matter though? It's what stands out to me when I look at people. All the shitty things, the bad feelings and the crud."

"Nothing personal, but maybe that's just what you're familiar with."

"Give me a break. Even happy people have their demons."

"I'm not saying they don't. I'm saying if you're in a crap mood that's what jumps out."

"If this turns into some positive thinking thing I'm gone."

"Just personal experience," she sighs.

"But I'm not here to be a poor man's Professor Rede."

"Good. That man has some serious baggage." she says as one of the waiters brings a bottle of wine. The man still looks a little confused but is hiding under a mask of professionalism.

"On the house. We're checking to see if there was a gas leak or something."

"Well we're none of us down to one carry-on, aye?"

She quirks a brow, looking at the bottle's label.

It's a decent-ish bottle, if Sam knows anything about wine.

"Who really gets rid of their baggage anyway?"

"So did you do that, or does he just feel that guilty?"

"Less guilty and more concerned about his reputation." she says and after a moment of looking at Sam she relents. "Fine, I might have given him a little nudge."

"I wasn't giving you the guilt stare."

Miriam seems a little surprised by that, but then seems to relax, pouring them each a glass. "Cheers, then."

"Promised you this wasn't that kind of night, aye?"

She lifts her glass.

"Cheers."

"To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what kind of night this is supposed to be." she says, taking a sip of her wine.

"Mending fences, aye? Or at least a night where we don't end up yelling at each other."

She takes a sip as well.

"Already lowering your expectations, I see. This is going well." she tries to joke but the gloom hanging around her makes it fall a little flat. Still, the intent's there and Sam's a telepath, she can probably fill in the blanks.

"Something to be said for knowing my limitations."

"Unlike some of the voices in your head."

Sam shakes her head.

"One of them I'm sure would deny there are any."

"Look, we all have metaphors in our heads. Yours are just a little more... intense." she says. This is probably her trying to be nice.

"I don't need it whitewashed," she sighs. "I know I need to get a handle on it."

"It's scary." she says with a slight shrug. "Feeling like there's something hiding in your head. Hell that's why everyone's so freaked out by us."

"I guess for a lot of people, we are the monster at the end of this book, in varying shades of literal."