Boffins, Stat

[Null]

The Boy walked into the labs, holding his messed-up hand high.

"Hey, science-people. U up?"

[Toshiro Narumi]

Tosh leaned back from his work station to look at The Boy.

"You... caught a weird bug or something?"

[Null]

"Or something, is right. Mind taking a look at this and analyzing it?" the boy said, holding up his affected hand.

[Toshiro Narumi]

Tosh squinted at what was on the boy's hand. "Well, that's... odd," he said, "It would probably help if you told me what happened."

[Null]

And so the boy did, telling apart the weird shit under the carpet; the nigh-two dimensional gold flecks that darted and vanished when he came close.

"...so either we've got some kind of robo-asbestos or something, or something else is quite fucky."

[Toshiro Narumi]

"It would take a lot of tiny robots to behave that way," he responded, grabbing a nearby Erlenmeyer flask and holding it out. "Just drop it in here."

[Null]

The boy nodded.

He then chopped off the affected hand, and began stuffing it into the flask.

[Toshiro Narumi]

"You can't just give me the affected area?" he asked, gorge rising.

[Null]

"Please," the boy said, rolling his eyes. "Spare me your decorum. I came to you because you're one of the few people in this place with three brain cells to rub together; let's not get all squeamish now, alright?"

[Toshiro Narumi]

"Says the guy with no digestive tract and doesn't sleep," he sighed. He then went through the unnecessary step of running the contents through a centrifuge to separate the important contents.

[Null]

"You're thinking about the other guy," the boy said, leaning up against some expensive and non-lean-up-againstable equipment.

What a rebel.

[Toshiro Narumi]

"Please don't lean on that," he said as he configured some scanning equipment.

[Null]

Antsy, the boy shifted his weight...and leaned up against a different piece of equipment, yawning.

[Toshiro Narumi]

When the centrifuge finished, Tosh extracted the foreign material and placed a sample into a scanning electron microscope.

"And now we wait... more."

[Narrator]

After carefully analyzing the sample Null generously handed over, the electron microscope reveals that there's not really any foreign material. Just cells that make up Null's hand. What does stand out is that the bits of discolored skin appear that way because the various pigments like melanin and such, have been stripped out on a molecular level while leaving the cells themselves completely intact.

On top of that, the microscope is powerful enough that it should show any kind of residue left behind. In fact it does show fibers from the carpet and flakes of glue but absolutely nothing, not even molecular traces of anything that might be from the substance Null described.

[Toshiro Narumi]

"You... uhh... sure you actually caught whatever it was? Because the only thing unusual here is some missing pigmentation."

[Null]

"Oh, no, I just like scarring my hand randomly, because as you know, I'm an exceptional sadomasochist.

No, wait, that's the other one again. It is so confusing.


There's nothing else there? Just...sucking up pigment?"

[Toshiro Narumi]

"It's the only evidence anything happened."

[Null]

"Something sucking the color out of the world? Sounds like something from a children's book."

[Toshiro Narumi]

"Judging by your account and what could theoretically do all that, I almost think we have a problem with nanobots. But something that advanced just appearing in the dorms and randomly futzing around is far fetched," he said, growing suspicious that the boy was trying to prank him.

[Robin Stanton]

As the two are sciencing over by the electron microscope the door opens and in strolls a pink-haired girl, who, upon seeing Null leaning against some no-doubt expensive and/or fragile science-machine, immediately shifts into a bland looking scientist, complete with lab-coat and pocket-protector.

Relatively confident in her disguise she wanders around the lab, pretending to do important science stuff, like nodding at readouts and tapping the tip of a pen against readouts.

[Null]

"Yes, far-fetched. Because nothing strange happens around here, ferret boy."

[Toshiro Narumi]

"...point taken," he admitted. "I should go take a look myself then."

[Null]

"Yeah, you got any portable science thingys? We can knock this out right quick."

[Robin Stanton]

"Oh, Tosh!" the unfamiliar looking student(?) says, walking up to him, holding a clipboard. "Do me a favor and look at this, real quick?" she says, holding the clipboard so he can see it without showing it to Null.

It's me, Robin
I'ma need you to distract Mr. Crankypants for a minute

She taps on the sentence with the pen for emphasis.

[Toshiro Narumi]

"Those the numbers for your hard light experiment?" he asked without missing a beat.

[Robin Stanton]

"Yeah. Trying to figure out a good... muon... trap." she tries to technobabble.

[Toshiro Narumi]

He nodded. "Have you tried a dynamic reflection array?" he answered with something equally made up.

"Which reminds me," he said to the boy, "Could you help me with something before we go? It won't take long."

[Null]

"Something more important than the school being invaded by nanobots," the boy deadpanned.

[Toshiro Narumi]

"Well, no, but my scanning device needs a... uhh... special attachment for nanoscale measurement. It's... hard to reach."

[Null]

"...You want me to go reach a thing for you," the boy deadpanned.

[Toshiro Narumi]

"It high up in a closet too cramped for Bruce."

[Null]

"...You store important things in a place where you can't reach them.

You know, I may have to reconsider that three-brain-cells thing," the boy grumbled. "Show me to the cabinet."

[Toshiro Narumi]

Tosh may be smart, but he's a terrible liar. Nonetheless, it was mission accomplished as he led the boy to the most cramped cabinet he could see.

"I think it's up at the top, way in the back."

[Null]

"This is ridiculous. You would think ASHLIE would come up with a better storage system," the boy grumbled, weaving and shifting his way back into the cabinet.

[Robin Stanton]

"Yeah, it's a right mess." the unnamed student says as she reaches up to touch the cabinet and disappears into the metal, leaving an empty labcoat to float to the ground as the cabinet door snaps shut like a hungry mouth.

[Null]

"What th...TOSH!" the boy roared.

[Robin Stanton]

"Bamboozled!" Robin laughs as the cabinet wrenches itself free to hop onto the lab bench and begins waddling over towards the freeze-drier.

[Null]

"Robin Louise Stanton, you turn this cabinet around right now, or I will tan your hide. Quite literally, if needs be!"

[Robin Stanton]

"Uh... whoop..." she says as the cabinet teeters back and forth. "I'm trying! I never got my license to drive this thing!" she laughs before wobbling over to the top-press freeze-dryer and toppling the cabinet so it'll empty into the big cylindrical vacuum chamber, hoping Tosh would pick up on what she's trying to do and slam the top close.