[Social] You'd Think Nothing Happened

[Will Stanton]

"Well, you've been around here for a little bit. I tend to think this universe kind of sucks compared to mine, but compared to yours, eef."

[Acala]

"I do not have much data on it. My main function was life-support and biological-electronical interface."

"And emergency weapon. I did cut off one of your friend's arms."

[Will Stanton]

"I, too, spend quite a period of time working, uh, support in an Antarctic base, so I suppose we're not so different, you and I."

[Acala]

"Quite possibly! But I understand you have more experience interacting with other organic lifeforms."

"And their various disgusting secretions."

"So I would like to ask a favor if possible."

[Will Stanton]

"...I make no promises, after that last quip, but shoot."

[Acala]

"You are correct in that communication is still a tricky subject as I was not originally coded to do so."

"Unless I can make a physical connection with your brain."

"And I have made impressive strides in generating contextual matrices from data fragments available to me, but it is lacking."

"And since most dumb organic chunks seem to consider appearance an important aspect of it and Miss Desinov is only marginally more knowledgeable on the topic..."

"I was wondering if you could help me design facial parameters more conducive to vocal interactions."

"A meat mask."

But not made from meat!"

[Will Stanton]

"Oooh...that's a tough one. I can give you some tips and pointers, but a) a face is really difficult and important to do, and b) I don't know much about machines. I'd be happy to do my best, though."

[Acala]

"I have a hardlight projector to do the heavy-lifting!" the machine chirps and folds itself up, reorienting itself so the floating contraption is pointing straight up. The lens at the top flares to life and in a series of light-ripples begins to render a blank wireframe around itself in the shape of a person.

[Will Stanton]

"So, you're going to walk around as a hologram, huh? Makes a fair amount of sense, I suppose, and is likely to trip off less hostile reactions than floating around as an unidentifiable piece of tech."

[Acala]

"I see you have come to the same conclusion. Good. That means mine is likely correct."

"And you're clever enough to follow my thinking."

[Will Stanton]

"You know, keep up the sarcasm, and my 'help' might end up not working so well for you in the long run."

[Acala]

"Okay! I will refrain from doing so."

"Though it pains me greatly, I am sorry."

[Will Stanton]

"Right, so, uh...

What do you WANT, exactly? Like, what are your goals with this whole face and/or body thing?"

[Acala]

The wireframe stares at Will blankly for a moment.

"I was going to venture out to the rest of the area and see about repairing the damage I did and a more acceptable appearance would help with that."

"I had not considered what I want beyond that..."

[Will Stanton]

"Ah, see, there we have our first hurdle. Human beings judge a lot on appearances -- your first impression on people is going to be a visual cue, 9 times out of 10. And you can have different effects with different looks."

[Acala]

"I want people to not be worried or concerned about me."

"Friend-shaped!"

"But not like a chump."

"Trustworthy."

[Will Stanton]

"That's....friend-shaped is not a thing.

Not worried or concerned -- do you want to blend in, you mean? Avoid drawing attention?"

[Acala]

"I do not want people to think I might shrink them again."

[Will Stanton]

"So, you don't want to look obviously mutant-y, then. Something within 'normal' human parameters."

[Acala]

"Those parameters are very diverse. I have tried to assemble composite designs based off of internet data but I cannot discern a coherent trend."

"Plus they always end up top-heavy and structurally unreasonable."

[Will Stanton]

"Well, if you're trying not to draw attention, a big rack is not necessarily ideal then, no," Will chuckled.

[Acala]

"That much I understand about human behavior. But I struggle to compile a good composite image for 'friend'."

[Will Stanton]

"That's going to come down, mostly, to the face. Friend is something that's more defined by actions than appearances, but there are certainly combinations of features that are more initially welcoming. It kind of sucks that people judge others based on appearances, but they do. Probably less so here on campus then out in the world in general, but still."

[Acala]

"I will try narrowing the data-sets to faces. Thanks. Do you have any concrete parameters by which you calculate 'welcoming' values?"

[Will Stanton]

"Me personally? I'm more open than you think.

But if you're looking for a general audience, you want to be within a few standard deviations of the norm. Probably want to avoid something like facial tattoos or "punk" subculture stylings; they give off an air of aggressiveness that could dampen first encounters with people who don't know you."

[Acala]

"No actual numerical values or formulas then? That's not very helpful."

"How big is too big for eyes?"

[Will Stanton]

"There are a bunch of databases out there with pictures of humans, trying to look their best. You could flip through those to get a rough approximation, yeah?

I think, at this point in time, it's still called Tindr."

[Acala]

There's a brief pause as the nanites access the internet.

"Those humans are trying to mate."

"Gross."

[Will Stanton]

"You'll find that's one of the main root causes behind, well, most everything."

[Acala]

"I do not want to encourage humans to want to mate with me." the concerned robots exclaims.

[Will Stanton]

"Well, less scantily-clad outfits would probably help, there," Will smirked. "But if you want to look friendly and approachable, it isn't unexpected that some people might approach too much. It's a trade off."

[Acala]

"Hmm. Thank you for the warning. I will take it into account."

[Will Stanton]

"its a matter of iteration -- you've got to just keep making small adjustments until you get the reaction you want.

I will say, however, that appearance becomes less important once you actually get to know people. First impressions are tough, but you've got second and third impressions after that."

[Acala]

"I have already left a bad first impression on everyone here when I shrunk them, even if it wasn't a conscious choice."

[Will Stanton]

"I mean, that's fair.

What you may want to do in the long run, then, is actively make amends.."

[Acala]

"Everyone is already back their normal size."

[Will Stanton]

"Yeah, but people hold grudges."

[Acala]

"Yes, but how do I make amends when the damage is already undone?"

[Will Stanton]

"Now that is a tricky question. There's no easy answer, I'm afraid."

[Acala]

"What a cruel task to set before me then." the machine grumbles.