Help Me Willy Wan Kenobi

[Shane Marsh]

"It tastes exactly the same. Oddly, actual dirt does taste better."

He made an embarrassed expression like, well, someone who just admitted to eating dirt.

[Will Stanton]

This barely even tripped Will's weirdometer.

"Well, you'd be surprised what scientists can come up with. A bunch of 'em don't know their ass from a hole in the ground."

[Shane Marsh]

"Oh the bars worked, they just... fail at being chefs. Hard."

[Will Stanton]

"I suppose there's not much there to work with with dirt."

[Shane Marsh]

"There really isn't."

"So... want to show off some of those perfected shapeshifting moves?"

[Will Stanton]

"I'll do my best. Was there anything in particular you wanted me to show you?"

[Shane Marsh]

"Anything I might conceivably be able to do?"

[Will Stanton]

"Man, you can conceivably do anything, but let's try to narrow it down some.

Show me more what you were doing with your hand when I came in."

[Shane Marsh]

"I mean planty things, but alright."

He grew the fingers of his right hand into long and flexible vines and, after a brief moment of mental effort, tipped them with sharp thorns.

[Will Stanton]

"There's a start!

A defense mechanism, that. I wonder if you can be poisonous, too--you might have a number of plant-based defenses."

[Shane Marsh]

He turned the vines back into fingers but kept the thorn-claws.

"These are pretty bloody wicked," he grinned, "And, hell, I probably can be. Give someone a nasty rash at least."

[Will Stanton]

"You MAY want to find something a bit more fast-acting than that for combat purposes," Will joked.

"Who ever heard of a supervillain based on Poison Ivy?"

[Shane Marsh]

"Batman?" he asked with a sarcastic smirk.

[Will Stanton]

"Yes. That was the joke."

[Shane Marsh]

"Ah, right," he chuckled with mild chagrin.

"There's plant acid too... which is probably what's in my stomach now."

[Will Stanton]

"Acid's good. Depends on what kind, though. Citric acid probably won't get you very far."

[Shane Marsh]

"Unless I'm up against the terrifying Doctor Scurvy," he joked.

[Will Stanton]

"I'll make sure you're first on the list for all the vitamin-deficient supervillains."

[Shane Marsh]

"I'll hold you to that mate," he grinned.

[Will Stanton]

"We'll defeat them..through the power of the food pyramid!"

[Shane Marsh]

"That sounds like the worst Power Rangers theme ever."

[Will Stanton]

"Eh, I'm sure they're running out of ideas."

[Shane Marsh]

"Yeah but 'Power Rangers: Nutrition Force' is silly even for that. Anyway... thanks for the talk. I do actually feel a little better about all this. "

[Will Stanton]

"I'm just sorry I couldn't help more.

If there's anything you need, anything at all, don't hesitate to come find me."