Xaviers!

Crystal-blue waves are crashing on the beach. A blonde girl is swimming in the sea when a shark-fin cuts through the water behind her. It rapidly approaches and bursts out underneath her. But instead of being a real shark it's Tosh, wearing a puka shell necklace and swim-trunks with a palm-tree pattern on it. He tosses the blonde girl way into the air with a big toothy grin. The girl goes sailing through the air, laughing and diving into the water with a splash much too large to have come just from her weight alone, dousing Tosh with the large wave it causes before bobbing back to the surface. We pan over towards the beach and a Tiki bar. Just outside of it is an old VW bus with colorful patterns drawn on it and a young woman lieing on it's roof, wearing a long tie-dye skirt and smoking a joint. The camera moves on, over to the bar itself to a slightly pudgy guy in a Hawaiian shirt sitting on a barstool. He's leaning over the bar towards the bartender, a woman in a black dress-shirt and an apron who looks amused and annoyed by the flirting. She rolls her eyes a little and touches Trev's cocktail glass with one finger and it jerks away, just enough that he's pulled along and toppled off the barstool. Over to the side the disapproving owner Katarina clears her throat at Nika.

Starring Trev Anderson, Haley Crusek, Toshiro Narumi, Byrna "Bear" Cooper, Nika Novak and special Guest Appearance by Katarina Karkov

((“Surfs Up!” Is filmed in front of a live studio audience!))

Bruce spat out water. "Is that all you got babe?" the mutant shark-man laughed with a smirk, "'cause that didn't even tickle."

"How about now?" Haley cackled, trying her best to perfect the art of telekinetic pantsing.

Knocked off-balance by the bartender, Trev went crashing to the floor.

((canned laughter as the camera zooms in on the prone Trev))

He looked straight to the camera, "I might be in love. She really knocked me off my feet."

((more canned laughter for the quality one-liner as the man picks himself up and dusts off))

"Boy what'd you put in that drink?"

"Nika! I am not paying you to play with the customers!" Katarina said from the office. "If they're unconscious, they can't pay!"

"Dork repellent, obviously." Nika says, one hand on her hips and a somewhat affectionate smirk on her face. Slight laughter from the audience.

"It's just Trev. He never pays his tab anyway!" Nika responds to the voice from off-screen and the full laugh-track kicks in.

“Tabs will be a thing of the past, in about 3 days!”

Bear burst in the door (audience cheer), waving a piece of paper.

“I’ve got the answer to all our dreams!” She said excitedly.

"Is it new pants?" Bruce called out, having given up on aquatic hijinks and heading landward. Laugh track.

“Better than pants, Jaws! It’s the Annual All-beaches Dune Buggy Race! First place wins a whole $100! And we’ll finally be able to show up those jerks from Santa Corita!”

Bear wrung her hands in glee.

"A whole hundred bucks? Maybe we can buy Trev a less hideous shirt." she smirks to more canned laughter as she pours him a fresh drink to replace the one she jerked him around with.

“I put up with a lot of abuse. You’ll be lucky if you get a half percent tip! I’ll have you know this is an authentic shirt purchased on Hawaii by my grandfather,”

“...and if it was cool back then, it totally still is. Even if you don’t have the good taste to notice it.”

Bruce stopped while he was still waist deep. "I like your shirt buddy! It even fits me!" Laughter.

Bear reached into a cupboard with a crudely painted sign reading “Tosh’s emergency pants” and pulled out a pair. Balling it up, she tossed it unerringly at Shark Boy’s head. (Laughter)

“I’ve got it all planned out. All we need are cool team uniforms. And a dune buggy. And someone who can drive a dune buggy. And the entrance fee for our dune buggy.”

"Well, don't look at me. I'm not funding another one of your get-rich schemes, Cooper." Katarina said, crossing her arms. "I'm not made of money."

“See? Sharkman appreciates my style. And I trust the opinion of anyone who owns walking out of the water pantsless.”

Katarina Karkov wrote:"Well, don't look at me. I'm not funding another one of your get-rich schemes, Cooper." Katarina said, crossing her arms. "I'm not made of money."

“Not made of money? Kat, the First National Bank has your toenail clippings on retainer!” (Quick laughter)

Kat snorted in disgust and walked back into her office, closing the door with a hearty *k-thud*.

"Don't look at me Bear, she only pays me with fish," a re-pantsed Bruce said as he joined the group.

"I should... probably renegotiate." Weak laughter.

“Most un-groovy.”

Bear took a seat at the bar, dejected.

"We do need to get back at those Santa Corita jerks for what happened at the beach volleyball tournament..." Nika muses. She may not be one for shenanigans, but her competitive streak's a mile wide.

Trev nodded, "That's for sure. The Ipecac in our Gatorade cooler was totally them. I still get queasy every time I get a whiff of blueberry."

((Everyone at this point makes a little wretch sound, and covers their mouths. Familiar chuckles from the audience.))

“That’s it! Funding or no funding, we need to win that race!”

Time for a montage!

An enthusiastic Haley in a bikini and a very disgruntled Nika in a simple one-piece bathing suit waving cars in to their car wash station.

Trev digging through couch cushions and pulling out handfuls of quarters and the occasional dollar bill.

Bear with her bus parked near the road, side-door open and a small canvas awning sticking out from it, selling tie-dye shirts and the occasional groovy cigarette.

Bruce, posing with two young kids, making a goofy face as their parents snap a picture before handing him a couple bucks. There's a propped up sign reading "Picture with THE Hollydale Shark - $2"

Katarina rolling her eyes at the group's "strategy meetings" in the bar.


Two Days Later...

The group (or everyone who is participating in race shenanigans anyway) is gathered around outside the bar around a very questionable looking dune buggy. It's rusted, one wheel's flat and it's missing significant chunks of bodywork. But it is running with a more or less steady puttering of it's little engine. It briefly startles everyone when it coughs out a cloud of black smoke, but the motor doesn't die and keeps idling.

"Well... It's technically good enough to start in the race. Not sure if it's good enough to finish."

“It’s perfect!!!”

Bear gave it a big, sustained hug, not even minding when a second engine sputter coated her head in black soot.

“I’m going to name her Darryl.”

Trev smirked into the camera, thumbing over towards the public display of dune buggy affection, "I really need some of what she's smoking."

"You think you can drive this thing, Bear? Or should the prettiest gal on the beach do it?" he slid up next to Nika, eyebrows waggling suggestively.

"I'm worried that if I try to ride that thing it's gonna break."

The audience let's out a subdued 'Ooooh...' at the innuendo.

“I can’t drive! There’s a reason the bus has never left the bar parking spot!” (Laughter)

Wearing another obnoxious Hawaiian shirt, Trev's head swiveled to the camera as he pantomimed loosening his collar after Nika's comment. "Ha-cha-cha!"

"We'd never get top speed with me driving it. I don't think it'd move at all! We need someone tiny, and light, and fast, and whose not afraid of the wheels falling off."

All eyes in the vicinity slowly turned towards the tiny blonde in a bikini absentmindedly blowing a bubble of bubblegum as she filed her nails.

"Yeah, sure," she replied as the bubble popped, still not really acknowledging anything except her nails.

"So does anyone know how to fix this thing to, like, not make Texas barbecue?"

For the briefest of moments, Bruce thought part of him should know how. It was quickly forgotten.

“Toshie, I’ll be fine. And if not, I’m sure I’d make a delicious pulled Haley sandwich.”

“Yeah, it’s more a matter of keeping a positive mental attitude at this point!” Bear replied.

“And by that, I mean using your mind to keep Darryl from falling apart, and moving!” (Laughter)

Katarina was watching from the stoop of the bar, her arms still crossed.

"I hope you're willing to repair any of the damage that soot-bucket causes to my bar!"

"When have we ever not cleaned up our messes?" Bruce asked innocently.

“Well. There was the all you can eat taco bar....there was that jello wrestling night....there was the Ipecac Gatorade incident...” Trev started listing off times they didn’t clean up their messes.

Bear retched a little upon mention of the Gatorade incident, same as everyone else. (Laughter)

“Who cares about messes? We’ve got a race to win!”

"Well...you'd better hurry, then. You've come this far, you might as well go for it," she said, arms still permanently crossed.

Before Kat could react, Bear quickly caught her in a deep hug. (Awwwwwwww)

“Thanks, Kat. You’ll be proud of us!”

"Ay-yi-yi!" Katarina said, flailing her arms around in Bear's hug as she turned to gold.

*Laugh track*