Basil Benson wrote:For seven years, I've been forced to wait to tell my narrative because it didn't fit in with what moderation staff wanted.
Basil Benson wrote:Seven years of nearly everyone either treating me like garbage or outright ignoring me and me holding on that it's OK, because 'People want me around, that's why I was called back here... right?'
Basil Benson wrote:90% or more of the attempts I have made to interact with every major plot line, ignored or written off by moderation. Everything I've attempted to do solo, pushed to the side so we can do 'more interesting things'. Every complaint I've had about this feeling was cast aside. And I've sat by and eaten it because people were acting as if I was 'being irrational' and that I was 'seeing things'.
Basil Benson wrote:And if we are parting ways, my parting advice to you all is: Take your players more goddamned seriously if you don't want this to happen again. This pattern is cyclical because the same mistakes keep being made. One or two parties are allowed to dominate the narrative because they feel that is what is appropriate for the game, regardless of what others might feel.
I get that XU has long since turned into my place in a way and maybe that's my fault. I didn't mean for that to happen but when I'm the one who runs the majority of plots I suppose that's inevitable.
Ashlie Minamida wrote:thanks for that brilliant insight.
Playing in other spaces. I'm guilty of it. It's not recent. I was playing in other spaces before I came to XI. That has continued into XU, and continues today. Those other places could be Discord groups, or chat programs, or tabletop. And until this all came up, I didn't think anything of it. Because I thought we were all doing it. Some of it I did with some of you. I thought we all had different places that we played based on our interests. I haven't invited any of you into those spaces, not out of any malice or desire to not play with you, but because this is where I come to play with you guys.
Jezabelle Sherlock wrote:Playing in other spaces. I'm guilty of it. It's not recent. I was playing in other spaces before I came to XI. That has continued into XU, and continues today. Those other places could be Discord groups, or chat programs, or tabletop. And until this all came up, I didn't think anything of it. Because I thought we were all doing it. Some of it I did with some of you. I thought we all had different places that we played based on our interests. I haven't invited any of you into those spaces, not out of any malice or desire to not play with you, but because this is where I come to play with you guys.
Jezabelle Sherlock wrote:I like playing here. I like playing with you guys. I like your characters, and this universe, and the stories we tell together (well not me so much but you get the idea). But when it comes to something new, I don't know if I'll be a part of it. If the idea doesn't strike me, or I can't think of a character I want to play, then it's very unlikely. Because I come here to play XU, and my characters are XU characters, and that's what I want to play with them. If something new is started, those characters will not be a part of it.
Jezabelle Sherlock wrote:This is a jumbled mess and I'm not sure how it reads, or if I said anything worth saying.
Jezabelle Sherlock wrote:"Here's a thing that's happened. Does it affect your character in some way? Alright then let's play that out together."
Jezabelle Sherlock wrote:One thing I forgot to include, that I had meant to but got lost in my writing and re-writing, was in possible contributions from me. I said in my big winding post that I had one or two big ideas that I didn't think were worthy of a plot / issue, or a lot of ideas I had I didn't do because I couldn't think of how to make them contribute to the ongoing plot. Things I did pitch, I said "if this could help with a future story". Ideas like a use for evil Simon (who I did kind of a shit job of over on old XU), having a SHIELD member posted on campus, etc. But all of those were small things that didn't have enough meat on their own - so I'd just say "hey, here's a little thing, if it can help with a big thing, let me know".
Obviously I don't expect people to write my ideas for me, or change things to better suit what ideas I have. But maybe I should be stepping up more often to say "I want to include this somehow", less "do any of you have big ideas that my little idea can be a part of " and more "this is what I want to do, does anyone want to help me / can this help with an idea you have?" or "what can I do to help with your ideas?" Because the burden of running the game and coming up with plots shouldn't rest entirely on one set of shoulders, and trying to come up with things for everyone's PCs is too much for any one person. DMs don't write plots for 30+ characters, so maybe it's time I took a little initiative and "DM" a bit too. "Here's a thing that's happened. Does it affect your character in some way? Alright then let's play that out together."
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