by Declan Alexander » Tue Sep 04, 2018 5:43 pm
At precisely 3:07 PM, the BBC cut out. Both on television, and the radio.
So did ITV, Channel 4, Sky, and all the other terrestrial broadcasters. Static filled the airwaves across the nation, before a crackling sound came through, and an angular, grinning face popped onto the screen, and a Welsh accent filled the air.
"Good afternoon, Britain.
My name is Captain Cosmos. You do not know me yet, but you will. Today is a fortunate day for all of you. Today is a day that will live on forevermore; a day where you and your so-called government can make decisions that will alter the course of history.
For too long, we have had to listen to politicians, lobbyists and spokespeople drone on and on about who we are and who we should be. The Irish Question. Devolution. The Scottish Referendum. Brexit. I, for one, am tired of so much talk and so little action. I am also a patriot. The British Isles shall remain together, joined in unity, for better and for worse, for the rest of the time they exist. We have produced some of the greatest minds the world has ever seen, and it disgusts me -- disgusts me! -- at the level of discontent and unrest present. The islands splitting up. The islands wanting to be more part of Europe than part of each other. Perhaps what you need is a common enemy. Perhaps I can oblige.
I am in possession of a device of hereto unmatched power and destructive capabilities. The governments of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, the Republic of Ireland, the Bailiwick of Jersey, the Bailiwick of Guernsey and the Isle of Man have 96 hours to provide ten billion pounds worth of gold or other equivalent precious metals, to be delivered to a location that will be sent to them forthwith. I am aware this is more than any one of the governments have to offer, so they shall have to work together in order to fulfill this demand.
If they do not, I shall activate the device in exactly 96 hours. The resulting shockwave will destroy the British Isles and everyone upon it.
Either join together, or die together. The choice is yours.
Good afternoon, Britain."
A loud and obnoxious burst of static concluded the message.
----- ----- ..--- ....- ..... ....- ...-- ---.. ..--- ----- ..--- ....- -.... / ----- ----- ...-- ..--- ....- ..--- ----. .---- ....- ..... ----- ..... ..... / ----. --... ---.. ----- ..... ..... ...-- ..--- ---.. ...-- -.... ---.. -.... / ----- ---.. ---.. ...-- ----. ..--- ----. ..--- ..--- .---- ----. ....- ...-- / ----- ----- ..--- ....- ..... ....- ...-- ---.. ----- ---.. ..--- ..... .---- / ..... ..--- .---- ..--- ...-- ---.. -. ----- ----- -.... ----- --... .
And then the regular programming came back on, allowing people to finish watching Jeremy Kyle.